I walked forward toward the boys.  After a moment, they looked at each
other, and moved aside.  I kept walking, hearing them say my name, but I
didn't bother responding.
    It was like something was burning inside me.  Some fire, some need to get
revenge.  It was running through my whole body.  Every part of me seemed to
be tight and on edge, like a violin string about to break.  Somehow I could
feel things in the building around me...the auras of people going about their
nightly activities.
    I found the nearest hentai aura and walked straight for it.
    It turned out to be in the socializing area.  On the way I ran into Jade
Jade and Celes.  "Hey, Gaia," Jade said.  "Uh...Gaia?  Hello?"  I ignored them
and walked into the socializing room.  Nobody was around, except for the one
guy who was making my 'hentai sense' go crazy.  He had his back to me when I
entered the room, but then turned around.  For some reason he was holding one
of those little couch pillows.  He put the pillow on the cushioned bench,
nodded to us, straightened his pants a little, and walked out.
    "Gaia?" Jade had just caught up and was staring at me.  "Are you okay?"
    "Hey, what was that guy doing?" Celes asked, coming in behind Jade.  She
walked over to the couch and picked up the pillow to look at it, but then
suddenly threw it down and shrieked.  "EWWWWWWWWW!!!  Oh god, that is so
GROSS!!!"
    I could still see the hentai down the hall.  I started to run, and
launched myself into a high jump.  He only managed to turn around halfway
before my knee hit his neck, following it all the way to the ground.  We
landed hard, my shin slamming his head at an angle that caused a loud crunch
to echo through the hall.
    I stood up, and looked down at the hentai, confirming that he was indeed
safely in the 'formerly living' category.  I know, that might have seemed
severe, but I tend to be pretty strict when it comes to hentai.  Especially
when two people I know have just been killed.  Cuz I'm...

=====

HENTAI HUNTER GAIA

Original concept by: Myth
This part by: John Evans
HHG hosted by: Syrian Stories
http://matrix.crosswinds.net/~mandarin701/the_lair_of_all_things_impro/
syrian/syrian_stories.htm

PART IV: The Good, the Bad and the Hentai

DISCLAIMER! WAI! WAI!
THIS FIC CONTAINS NAUGHTY NAUGHTY BAD BAD COMMONLY USED FOUR LETTER WORDS TO
KNOW AND GET FRIGHTENED ABOUT!!!! If the lives of teenagers offends you/scares
you/frightens you/interests you in a bad way/makes you lose hair, please do
not read this fic. Otherwise, enjoy!

=====

    But I didn't feel any better.  This was just some random hentai, not the
one I was looking for.  The world was better off without him, yeah, but
Nikita and Ophelia's killer was still on the loose.  I reoriented my 'hentai
sense' and felt a familiar flicker.
    Flidais Bates.  Nearby.
    I stalked off again.  Jade and Celes' voices faded in the background.
The aura led me outside, and around to the side of the building, where I found
a lawn chair set up.  And in it, Flidais was...moonbathing?  In a swimsuit,
with sunglasses.  Or something.
    He took off his shades and looked at me.  "Well, well, if it isn't the
little hentai hunter."  I stepped toward him, cracking my knuckles.  He
blinked.  "What, right now?"
    "Yes, right now," I growled.  Yeah, I was still angry.  "You're going down
for what you did."
    The demonic hentai paused in the act of getting up from his chair.  "I'm
sorry?"
    The fire blazed up inside me, and I gave up holding it back.  I lunged
forward with a punch that amazed even me--but Flidais dodged it.  I just had
time to be shocked before I was into a spin kick, and then a combination of
rapid-fire punches.  It was almost unbelievable, but Flidais dodged everything
up to the last punch, which he blocked.  That nearly made me give up right
there, but then Flidais lost his balance and stumbled backward.
    "Now hold on," he said, holding his hands up.  "I'm not ready for this
right now!"
    "You should have thought of that before you killed them!"  I jumped
forward, and he dove and rolled to the side.
    "Killed who?  Bubbles, get the hell over here!"
    "Yes Flidais!"  Something pale flapped at me.  I smacked it back, and it
arced over to Flidais, who spiked it like a volleyball.
    "THOU SHALT NOT CALL ME FLIDAIS!!!" he roared.
    I blinked.  "Yes Master Bates!" the thing on the ground squeaked.
    Oh, gee.  Master Bates.  He had to die just for that.
    I picked up the lawn chair and threw it at Flidais, and it bounced off his
shoulder.  "Nikita and Ophelia!"  I started to lunge again--but then I felt
another hentai aura intruding on my senses.  Turning, I tried to orient on it.
    "I haven't killed anyone since--oh terrific, what NOW?"  I ignored Flidais
as that other hentai aura jumped out at me.  I grabbed whatever it was as it
flew through the air, and tossed it over towards Flidais.  Unfortunately, it
landed in a roll and got to its feet, appearing none the worse for wear.
    Flidais blinked.  "Rotch?"
    The hentai looked back.  "Bates?  What are you doing here?"
    "Trying to catch some rays.  Are you the one who got this hentai hunter
all stirred up?"
    At this point I recognized the hentai as some guy from the lower ranks of
the orchestra, Mike something.  How had I missed him before?  I guess I needed
to work on my sensing...
    "That's right," Mike said.  "We have to get rid of her right now, or we'll
all in trouble."  He looked at me and licked his fingers...and I noticed they
were stained red.
    At that point, well, I was beyond angry.  I jumped forward and kicked,
which he blocked, but then threw a low punch that he didn't even see before it
sank into his stomach.  Then I aimed an elbow at his neck.  The hentai tried
to put up a defense, but it was basically over as I bashed my elbow into his
head and then brought my knee up to break his nose.  He fell over, so I kicked
him lots of times (mostly in the crotch area)...then I sort of came back to
myself as my anger ran out.  At this point Mike was basically a wreck, so I
grabbed his head and snapped his neck to finish him off.
    ...After that I just sort of stood there for a while.  Two people I knew
had died, and I got revenge for them...now I just felt tired, or maybe drained
is a better word.  So I went back into the building.
    Oh, and Bates had disappeared during the fight.  But I knew there'd be
other chances for him.

=====

    I walked back to the socializing room and over to the couch.  Too late I
remembered the pillow, which was still there...but I really felt like just
sitting somewhere and zoning out, so I plopped down in the middle of the
couch.  After a minute, I heard voices down one of the halls, and then Pan,
Ryder and Sarah (huh?) came into the room.
    "Gaia!" Ryder said, as soon as he spotted me.  He ran over and then sort
of stood in front of me.  "Uh, are you, okay?"
    I pulled him down onto the couch next to me, so I could lean against him.
"Sort of," I replied.  "I don't know."
    "Did you find out who did that?" Pan asked.
    "Yeah.  Some random hentai.  I...took care of him."  Pan nodded.  Ryder
put his arm around me, which gave me a kind of warm feeling.  That was just
what I needed right then...
    And then Sarah sat down on the other side of me.  Oh, joy.  "Gaia-chan!
Where were you?  I missed you!"  She leaned against me.
    I stared at her, and smelled something familiar.  "Sarah, what the fuck?
Are you *drunk*?"
    "Just a little..."  She tried to snuggle against me, and I squeezed
against Ryder some more.  Then I noticed she was staring at my--uh.
    "Look," I said.  "I don't care if you look down my shirt, just try not to
make it so obvious.  It bothers me."  I pulled away from her some more.
    "But Gaia-chan!  The boys want to *see* the hot girl on girl action!"  She
smiled brightly.
    I noticed Pan and Ryder exchange a glance, and I glared at them.  Then I
pushed Sarah away.  "I don't like girls like that, okay?"
    "Oh, don't be like that.  I saw you with those nipple clamps earlier, you
know.  Hey, do you still have them on?"  She proceeded to check.  ...Okay, she
groped me.  I hope you all out there are happy.
    I hit her with a backhand, punched her in the stomach, and then quickly
snapped her neck.  ...At least, I *wanted* to.  Somehow I just couldn't get up
the energy to do it.  All I managed to do was sort of hit her face with my
elbow.  But at least she fell away from me and started crying.
    "You're so mean!" she sobbed.  "I just wanted to try and forget about that
thing that--it was awful!"  I stared as she rubbed at her eyes; she really
looked upset.  "It was like all the things that are nasty about men, but a
thousand times worse!"  She grabbed the pillow and hugged it, and I almost got
sick.  I stood up and glared at her.
    "I'm a hentai hunter, not a hentai counselor!" I yelled at her.  "Find a
fucking psychiatrist or something!"
    Sarah blinked.  "Hentai...what?"
    Pan grabbed me by the shoulders and steered me away.  "She's a hentai
artist.  But a very tired one.  Come on, Gaia."
    "Oh.  ...Well, if you ever need a model..."
    Ryder ran up behind us.  "Jade said you and Jenny could stay in their
room tonight."
    I sighed, and let myself be led along.  "Thanks, guys."
    I guess I was lucky to have friends like that.  Jade, Celes and Bao were
in a room with two bunk beds, so Jade actually slept on a bunch of blankets on
the floor so Jenny and I could have actual beds.  It was really nice of them,
except...it turned out their room was right next to Sarah's.  And apparently
Sarah was able to get her roommates to...well, it was noisy.  I tried pounding
on the wall, but that just made Celes grumble at me to be quiet.
    I probably had some dreams that night, but I couldn't remember them.
That's probably a good thing.

=====

    A janitor entered a nearby room, looked around, and sagged.
    "What the hell?  This job sucks..."

=====

    Sectionals were as awful as always.  I was too out of it to do much more
than struggle through practice and rehearsal, even with Flidais, Sarah AND
Erik in my practice group.  By lunchtime, though, I was fairly awake, and
found myself sitting at a table with Erik, Pan and Cody.  Erik was across from
me, and the other two were on either side of me.
    "So you feeling any better, Gaia?" Pan asked.
    I shrugged.  "A bit."
    "Didn't sleep well?"
    I scowled.  "Fucking Sarah was in the next room..."
    Cody and Pan looked at each other, while Erik gave me a sympathetic smile
that gave me a little shiver.  "Sarah in the next room?" Cody asked.
    "Yeah.  You guys didn't hear about it?  She and her roommates kept us all
up."
    "Nah, that's news to us," Pan said.
    "You should get some people to switch rooms," Cody said.  "I'd be happy
to."
    "I don't know, maybe we'll just kick her ass or something."
    "No, just switch with me and my roommates.  Come on."
    "Yeah, whatever."
    "Please?  Just for one night?  We'll pay."
    I hit Cody's shoulder.  "Asshole."  But his grin did make me feel a little
better.
    "So are you on duty, Gaia?" Erik asked softly, smiling.
    I returned his smile, then looked at Pan.  "Hey!  I just remembered."
    Pan blinked.  "Hm?"
    "Why couldn't I beat up Sarah yesterday?"
    "Well, she wasn't really a hentai."
    I stared at him with my best 'Yeah, right' expression.
    He shrugged.  "Just because she's a lesbian who's easy after a few drinks,
that doesn't make her a hentai."
    I frowned down into my institutionalized food.  "Damn.  So...I can't just
beat up anyone I want?  That kinda sucks."
    Pan chuckled.  "Well, from what I've heard, you *should* be able to beat
up anyone.  It's just that the hunter part of you is more...lazy, if you're
not fighting a *true* hentai."
    I looked at him.  "Huh."
    "You're really dedicated to eliminating the evil side of sex, aren't you,
Gaia?"  I looked across at Erik and felt myself blushing at his smile.  I
started to reply, but...
    Another hentai aura.
    I stood up from the table, and walked off.
    "Aw, fuck, not again," Cody muttered.
    "What is it, Gaia?" Pan asked calmly, standing up as well.
    "Evil.  Hentai.  But...quiet?"  I frowned.  "It's just sitting there and
not doing anything."
    "Not threatening anyone, you mean?  Then it's probably not a problem you
have to deal with right at this moment."  I felt Pan studying me, and turned
to glare at him.  "Still, you can go on and check it out if you want," he
continued, not seeming bothered by my glare.  He was cute, but that smug
know-it-all thing was starting to annoy me.
    "Fine."  I walked quickly out of the lunch room.  Down a few corridors,
up some stairs, through another door, not really bothering to keep track of
where I was.  Finally I came to a deserted section of hallway, with one
particular door that emanated hentai waves.  If that's even the right term.
Anyway, I pushed open the door, ready for anything.
    It was just a classroom, empty except for a guy and a girl, who were--
well, their clothes were on, but their hands were busy.  The girl didn't seem
to really mind, so maybe it wasn't my 'jurisdiction'...
    Except that the guy was a demon.  I don't know how or why, but he 'felt'
the same as that thing with all the tentacles, even if he looked like a skinny
guy with long black hair.  There was an almost visible aura of hentai evil
around him, or maybe 'it'.
    Needless to say, I ran forward and attacked.  The demon noticed me and
threw the girl to the side, before catching my punch with one hand.  I tried
kicking him a few times, but he twisted away from my attacks with inhuman
grace.
    "Hey!"  Surprised, I almost got smacked in the face, but managed to dodge
the demon and grab it by the neck.  I set myself and pushed hard; the thing
stumbled back and fell to the ground, but popped right back up after a moment.
    I glared at the girl.  "What?"
    "What the hell are you doing?" she snapped.  I noticed she had blond hair
and several piercings, including an eyebrow.
    "I'm getting rid of this demon!" I yelled, and looked back just in time to
dodge a couple of quick strikes.  I focused all my anger, and whipped off a
high kick to the face that was really incredible, if I do say so myself.  The
demon's head snapped back and it collapsed to the ground.
    "No!  Stop it!"  She ran over to the demon and helped him up.  I noticed
with a chill that black fluid was running from its nose.  The girl glared at
me.  "You're that hentai hunter, aren't you?"
    "Yeah, that's right."  Well, it didn't matter if she already knew, right?
"I'm Gaia Ceredwin."  I cracked my knuckles.
    "Well, I'm Laura DiFiorio," she hissed at me.  "And I'm not going to let
you treat my demon like that!  This isn't over!"
    Then she muttered something, and they disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Yes, I'm serious.
    I stared.  Then I realized Pan had come into the room at some point, and
turned to look at him.  He coughed.
    "Well, that was interesting," he said.
    "Oh, shut the fuck up."

=====


NEXT TIME, ON HENTAI HUNTER GAIA...


"I am NOT using the nipple clamps again."
"Well, they wouldn't work anyway.  Today you'll have to use *this*..."


...OR NOT.


=====

Author's note

Thanks to Myth, for giving me ideas and listening to all my ridiculously
involved questions about the series, and for starting the whole thing off in
the first place.  Apparently, the whole thing with Sarah is based on actual
events.  Funny old thing, life.  Anyway, thanks to Myth again for prereading,
and also to Philip Barkow for that same service.

John Evans
johne@mit.edu
2/16/00

Beware the Radish