- HIGH HIGH
- Tales of Suburban Cyberpunk
- Started by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
- This part by Steven Scougall

- Episode 7:  The Warzone of Classrooms


Another bright new day dawned.  The part of Terra that Suburbia was on
turned to face the sun, birds sang, crickets chirped, and thousands of
electronic pets woke up and played annoying little sounds to tell
their owners that they were awake and the 'feed' button needed to be
pressed right away.  Many of the aforesaid owners rolled over and went
to sleep again until the alarm went, and hundreds of virtual pets
died, only to be reborn by the reset option.

And thousands of students woke up and tried to get used to the fact
that yes, summer was over and school had definitely restarted for the
year.  They got up, struggled into school uniforms, and felt tired and
annoyed as they slouched their way to school.

---

Scrowl was feeling incredibly annoyed with life in general and Francis
in particular.

It had seemed like a perfect idea - knock out the nearest handy Art
student, completely ruin the Art department's chances of getting the
minimum number of students necessary for its ensured survival, and
laugh as Benton suddenly had to adjust to the drudgery of academic
life that was the normal High High student's lot.  But he hadn't
counted on the Art student having preregistered.  You just didn't
expect Art students to hack into the system and sign up early.  And by
the time Scrowl had discovered this, it was too late; all three Art
students had registered.

Scrowl scowled, and kicked at an abandoned can of soda.  Francis was
an Art geek; there was no way he could have hacked into the system
himself.  Someone else must have done it for him, and that person,
along with Jody, Benton, Francis, and the entire Art department, was
going to go down in flames.  Once he found out who it was.

As he walked along the sidewalk to High High, he saw another empty
soda can coming up in front of him.  He looked around to find a
suitable target, and settled on the Volvolt parked nearby.  He stepped
up to the can and with a carefully disguised flick of his leg he sent
it up into the car's side window at High Speed.  It shattered most
satisfactorily.

Happy wasn't quite the correct word to describe his feelings, but he
certainly felt better about life and the way he'd just made someone
else's worse.  Spirits somewhat lifted, Scrowl continued on to endure
another day of school.

---

The Traffic Smasher roared into the parking lot and came to a
screeching and perfect stop, equal amounts of space between the
monstrous car and the white lines on both sides of the carpark.  The
car was so large that the amount of space could be measured in small
numbers of millimetres, but it was still an incredible display of
driving skill.  Even more impressive was the fact that the car had, a
few scant moments before, been going at nearly 180% the speed limit.

"You do get used to it after a while," Mitch commented.

"Excuse me?" asked Jody.

"Your driving," Mitch clarified.  "Benton's barely green this
morning."

Benton nodded, not trusting himself to open his mouth.

"So we were running a little late," said Jody.  "I had to go faster
than usual.  But what are you worried about?  My control was perfect."

"Maybe," said Mitch, "but that Volvolt driver's control wasn't.  An
inch more and there would have been a crash."

"It's not my fault if he can't drive as well as I do," said Jody.
"And a crash isn't too worrying, the Traffic Smasher is built to take
many hard knocks."

"Aren't you more worried about the other guy and if he might have
taken you to court if there'd been a crash?"

Jody shrugged.  "I was perfectly in control at all times.  It's his
problem for not being ready for anything."

"Can't argue with that, I guess," said Mitch.

"Not if you want to live, anyway," quipped Benton.  Jody gave him a
warning glare as the three walked into the building, and he wisely
took his own advice and shut up.

"HIHIHIHIHIHIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" squealed a rapidly approaching
effervescent pink bundle of sugar and hyperactivity that was better
known to the world as Annie, one of the three Art students of the
Oppenheimer School of Higher Order Thinking and Mental Development.
Clamped firmly under one arm was a sketchbook in which there were many
duckies and bunnies, probably pink, and there was a large vapid grin
upon her face.

Mitch twitched.  There were a few students of the female persuasion
that, amazingly, he didn't try to chat up, and Annie was one of them.
She was too... cute.  And her mind was incredibly simplistic and
firmly fixed on the one track of cuteness, meaning that he just
couldn't mess with it.  He'd tried once, and her resultant whining was
more than he could handle.  So, deprived of his usual two choices with
regards to girls, he settled on plan C - stay the hell away.

Thankfully, this time he had Benton with him.  Surely he wouldn't mind
being a sacrificed so that Mitch and Jody could escape with their
sanity intact.  Sure, he'd complain later, but it was all in a good
cause.  And besides, he was more used to the girl, with the way they
were in the same department and all.

"Hi Annie," he smiled brightly.  "Gotta go.  Bye Annie.  Come on,
Jody."

"What?  We've still got ten minutes until class starts!"

"Oh, I'm sure our Art student friends have things to discuss."

Benton turned his best "You do realise I hate you for abandoning me to
Annie like this like you've done many times before and I *will* think
of something similarly hideous to do to you as I've done many times
before" glare at his friend.   In reply, Mitch shrugged as he hurried
away, dragging a protesting Jody behind him.

"Mitch is always so full of energy, isn't he?" giggled Annie.  "Do you
wanna see my latest picture?"

"How many rabbits and ducks are in it?" Benton asked warily.

"Just seven!" she beamed.  "And the cutest little cat and dog you've
ever seen are having tea with them!"

There was hope for her yet, Benton thought.  At this rate, she'd be
down to one rabbit or duck per picture in a couple of years.

---

Jody was dragged halfway along the hall before she finally wrested
free from Mitch's grip.  She massaged her wrist and glowered at Mitch.
"Mitch, what the hell are you doing?  We still had time to talk before
classes started!"

Mitch shuddered.  "Trust me, Jody, you do *not* want to get caught by
Annie.  Ever.  She's freaky."

"Oh really."

"Yeah.  She's too focussed on cute things.  She dresses cute.  She
talks cute.  She acts cute.  She draws cute.  She radiates an
insidious cuteness that makes your teeth rot and your brain melt into
a sugary mess, and it is much too much for any one person to handle."

Jody looked at him thoughtfully.  "So she scares you, huh?"

"She does not, I merely have to look out for my sanity," Mitch
explained.  "It wouldn't do for a great student of psychology such as
myself to be driven insane, now, would it?  Would you go to an insane
psychotherapist for treatment?"

"Well, no, but-"

"See?  Case closed.  Now, let's get to class."

"I bet you asked her out once."

Mitch's eyebrow twitched and Jody grinned.

"Why," she continued, "I bet I could even find out all about it from
Julie, the gossip queen."

Mitch's other eyebrow twitched.

Fortunately, the bell rang and the two had to scramble for their
classrooms, and he was saved further embarrassment.  Unfortunately,
the bell signalled another long day of soul-destroying drudgery,
better known as the impossibly exacting schoolwork that High High was
known for.

---

The principal of High High was large and imposing, as befitted a man
who had gone straight into the principalship from the disciplinary
committee.  His thick glasses hid his eyes but somehow made him look
ominous and he usually had his arms crossed.  He never glared, never
raised his voice, and yet was the most terrifying person the students
had ever encountered.

Currently he was impassively looking at the official ruling on the
PTA's demand to reduce the work level required of the students.  Here
he was, having singlehandedly lifted the GPA of the school to its
present high levels, and a bunch of jumped up parents were complaining
about their kids working all the time.  Didn't they care about the
educational achievements of their children?

He'd tried to hold back against their unreasonable demands, he really
had, but had failed.  In the end an agreement had been reached.  A
demand was just a demand, but an agreement was an agreement.

His mouth twitched slightly, but that was all.

Time to make the announcement.

---

Jody was curious about this Annie person.  She'd only got a glimpse of
the girl.  Admittedly, in that one glimpse she had gleaned a lot about
Annie's hyperactivity and fixation with cuteness, but it hadn't been
enough to form a solid opinion.  That Mitch was scared of her was
interesting, though.

She knew exactly who to ask about this, and by incredibly good chance,
Julie was also in Jody's Algorithms and Data Structures class.  The
teacher hadn't yet started the lesson, and there was still time for a
quick message.  Jody quietly and unobtrusively typed up a message on
her palmtop and sent it off to the gossip queen.

Barely thirty seconds passed, and a reply came.  But before Jody could
open and read it, the school announcement system made a pleasant
ringing noise - it was an announcement from the principal.  Everyone,
including the teacher, stopped what they were doing and looked
expectantly at the corner of the room.

An image of the principal, sitting behind his desk, fuzzed into life.
What could be seen of him suggested he was a large man, and his
glasses almost hid his eyes.  Jody would have laughed, but the silence
he commanded made her pause.

"Good morning students," he said.  "I have some news."  He gestured at
the top of his desk, just visible at the bottom of the holo-image,
where a piece of paper was visible.  "This year things shall be
slightly different.  The PTA has requested that your homework is
reduced, and I have agreed; there shall be no more than two hours
homework assigned for each night."

There was a pause, and then every single student in the building
joined in with a tremendous cheer.

The principal held up a hand and the cheering quickly subsided.
"However," he said.  "Do not view this as an opportunity to slack off.
It is not.  You are here to learn, and you will."  Light glinted off
his glasses.  "That is all."  The image fizzed out.

The final part of his announcement sounded almost like a threat, and
the students were subdued.  But within moments the room was filled
with excited whispering.

The 'you have a reply' icon was still flashing on her palmtop's
display.  Jody keyed it up, wondering how an obvious airhead like
Julie was proficient enough to send such a rapid reply.  But then, she
thought, Julie *was* a High High student, and that meant she had to
have some brains inside that head of hers.  The girl just used most of
them for gossip mongering, she supposed.

Jody glanced up at the teacher and made sure his attention was firmly
on the blackboard.  He hadn't quite started the lesson yet - maybe the
announcement had thrown him off track.  There was still time.  She set
the palmtop in front of her monitor where the teacher couldn't see it,
and scanned over the reply:

	ANNIE BARKINS (17)
	Cute is the defining word.  She wears cute clothes, she has a
	cute face, and she talks cute.  Her painting is not very good
	and is, of course, cute, but because the Art Department needs
	her continued enrolment to stay afloat, Mr. Higgins gives her
	passing grades.  Rumour suggests that more than half her room is
	occupied by stuffed animals.

	Beware!  If she doesn't get her way then she cries very loudly
	and visibly, and it's VERY embarrassing.  Stay away from this
	girl if you want to survive.

	THE MITCH INCIDENT
	Mitch, in his endless efforts to get a girl to go out with him,
	approached Annie shortly after she arrived at High High in
	Junior High.  She agreed and Mitch was very clearly surprised
	and delirious with joy.

	Exactly what happened is unclear.  The next morning, Annie just
	giggled and didn't say anything, Mitch shuddered every time he
	was asked and didn't answer, and nobody else saw what they got
	up to.  Benton might know, but he isn't telling either.  The
	'Mitch / Annie Incident' is one of the Greatest Mysteries of Our
	Time and a reward is offered to anybody who has more
	information.

And then it was dated the year before, and a byline by Julie.  It was
obviously an entry in a gossip database, which explained how it had
been so rapid in coming.  There was obviously a bit more to Julie than
met the eye.

And this was all becoming curiouser and curiouser.  But Jody's
interest was piqued, and she swore she'd find out about this 'Mitch /
Annie incident' sometime.  Hopefully sometime soon.

---

It was lunchtime at High High.  Jody had decided that in the interests
of her tastebuds, she'd bring her own lunches.  She couldn't help but
notice the cafeteria staff glaring at her as she walked right past
them and their suspicious looking food.  She mentioned this to Benton
as he sat down, bearing a tray on which was unidentifiable green
stuff, a brown blob that might be meat, and yellow tubes that
glistened wetly.

"You probably won't get away with that for long," said Benton, nodding
towards her packed lunch.

"Excuse me?" she asked, taking a big hearty bite of her sandwich.  It
definitely tasted a lot better than the stuff she'd eaten yesterday.

"They're big on healthy and nutritious food here at High High.  Any
food that they don't serve themselves is automatically suspicious.
Any minute now - ah, there we go," he said, looking behind her.

"What?"  She twisted around and saw a very large man in an apron and
chef's hat glaring at her, and went into obedient student mode.  "Yes,
is there a problem?"

"Your lunch, miss.  It's not regulated."  He held out a meaty hand.
"It must be confiscated and analysed for nutritional content.  It's
the Principal's new order."

"But I'll starve!" she protested.

"No you won't, we serve very healthy brain food here.  Now.  Your
lunch, Miss."

Grumbling something about Food Nazism under her breath, Jody handed
her almost intact lunch to the hulking chef.  His hand closed around
it and covered it from any further sight.  Somehow, she knew it was
the last she'd ever see of it.

"Thank you for your cooperation," he said gravely.  "As I said, your
food shall be analysed for nutritional content.  If it passes our
tests and you can prove it is indicative of the food you normally
prepare, then you shall be given a semester pass to bring your own
food."  He turned and left the stunned girl behind.

"That's new," said Benton.  "Normally you just get severely
reprimanded.  They're obviously being harsher this year.  It must be
the Principal's revenge for the two hours of homework ruling."

"This is ridiculous," she grumbled.

"This is High High," he responded.  "They don't want our minds to rot.
They also believe that the food we eat could have a very big effect on
our developing intelligences."  He rolled his eyes.  "It all sounds
ridiculous to me, but they're the ones with Chef Oaken on their side."

"That big guy is Chef Oaken?"

"Yep."

Jody grumbled some more and then went off to pick up a tray of pink
stuff, green stuff, yellow tubes, and a brown blob that masqueraded as
meat.  She prodded at it with a fork and it made a slight 'boing'
noise.  Grimacing, she set about the Herculean task of eating another
High High lunch.

"Chin up, it's only one meal a day," said Benton.

"Where's Mitch?"

"Busy with applied psychology."

"Applied psychology?"

"Yep.  In other words, he's trying to pick up a new girl," said
Benton, indicating a distant table.  "He's trying to find someone who
hasn't heard about him yet."  He took another bite and swallowed, a
faint look of distaste on his face.  "But he always fails."

That reminded her of the morning's question.  With Mitch not here, it
was the perfect opportunity.  "So, Benton," she started, "what
happened between Mitch and Annie?"

Benton had just been about to swallow another mouthful of food.
Instead, it flew out of his mouth and made quite an artistic display
on the nearby wall.  Fearing the wrath of Chef Oaken, he hastily wiped
the offending food from the wall, and turned to face his just-a-
friend.  "Excuse me?"

"I've gathered that some time ago he asked her out and something
happened between the two."

"Ah," Benton said slowly.  "That."

"Yes, that."

There was a pause, heavy with possibilities.

"Sorry, I can't tell you," said Benton.  Ignoring her upset look, he
continued on.  "I swore on my honour that I would never ever reveal
the events of that night to anyone.  Mitch finds it all just too
embarrassing."

"Something embarrassing?  Did she forcibly dress him in cute clothes?"

Jody involuntarily shivered as Benton's face darkened.  "Oh believe
me," he said, "it was much much worse.  But I've said too much
already, and I really can't say."

"That's fine," she sighed.  She'd have to find out somewhere else, but
was there anyone else who'd know?  And with Benton and Mitch so
opposed to anybody finding out, should she really even bother?

---

The matter was taken out of her hands when classes restarted after
lunch.  She sat down at her terminal and Wireless' voice spoke out of
its speakers.  "Hiya," it said.

"Wireless?"  She quickly looked around the room.

"No, I'm not in this class," he said over the speakers.  "I'm in your
next class, though."

"Wireless, why are you talking to me like this?  Won't the school find
out?"

"With their security systems?  Get real.  Anyway, I heard you asking
Julie about Mitch and Annie," the disembodied voice said.  "I've been
doing some research, and thought you might like to see."

"Uh... sure."

A picture popped up on her display.  It was blurry and the colour was
low and bad.  Even so, the figure in the centre of the picture was
recognisable as Mitch, wearing pink rabbit ears.  He was moving at
great speed, if the motion blur was any indication.

"This is a picture from a security camera nearby Annie's house from
that night," said Wireless' voice.  "There are others, but they've
been wiped and are missing their records for this particular night.
Somehow, this camera escaped the same fate, and - huh?"

"What's going on?"

"Someone's just hacked in to the school system and is checking out
your files."

"WHAT?"

Everyone turned to stare at her, and Jody shrank down into her seat,
willing the teacher and the other students to stop looking at her.

"You gotta not make loud noises like that," advised Wireless, his
voice quieter, so as not to attract attention.  "Anyway, I just kicked
that sucker out and put in some extra security that he shouldn't be
able to get through."

"Thanks."

---

One minute Scrowl was on a fact finding mission into the school's
system to find out more about Francis, Benton, Jody, and their
associates, and the next, with no warning at all, he was kicked out of
the system.  Cursing, he tried to get back in and the computer started
playing a poem about some guy from a place called Snowy River,
wherever the hell that was.  And it was at very high volume, enough to
make his ears strain and everyone look at him funny, and the librarian
firmly asked him to leave.

He seethed.  He wasn't sure who was responsible, but when he found out
he would take great delight in crushing that person as well.

---

There was the sudden slap of a hand smacking down upon her desk.  Jody
jumped, and looked up to see the teacher scowling at her.  "And what,
pray tell, are you doing, Miss Weston?" she asked icily.

"Um... um..." she floundered, temporarily unsure.

"Discussing n-depth hash-trees with their application to vector
mathematics and rendering techniques used online," said Wireless, in a
synthesised voice.

"Haha," said the teacher.  "Very funny, Wireless.  Five demerits for
the both of you."

"Demerits?" asked Jody.

"The principal's latest idea," explained the teacher.  "If you do
badly, you get demerits.  And if you get too many demerits then you
receive some sort of punishment that he decides upon."

"What kind of stupid idea is that?" Jody wanted to say but didn't.

"Apparently he got it from ancient school systems," said the teacher,
shrugging.  "Anyway, you and Wireless have just got five.  If you have
a problem with it, take it up with him."

---

The end of school eventually came.  The students, suddenly with time
to actually have lives, made even more of a rush than normal to exit
the school.  Jody and Benton joined the rush and met by the Traffic
Smasher, but Mitch was nowhere to be seen.

"Where IS that guy?" Jody asked.

"Probably applying psychology to the chatting up of an attractive
female.  It's either that or explaining the oppression of the masses
to a captive student."

"Maybe he's explaining the oppression inherent in the demerits system
to the Principal," Jody suggested, almost hopefully.

"Did you get some today as well?"

"He was prowling outside the art department and complained about my
jacket, and how it wasn't standard dress code."

"He's up to something," said Jody.

"Maybe he's just getting revenge for being forced to cut back on
homework."

Five minutes passed and Mitch still hadn't shown up, and Benton grew
concerned.

"He's never this late," he murmured.

"Come ON, where is that guy?" asked an exasperated Jody.  "We're
wasting TIME here!"

The doors swung open and Mitch, his backpack bulging, collapsed
through them.  Benton hurried over to help him up, and gasped when he
felt the weight of the pack.  "What on earth do you have in here?" he
asked.

"Many MANY really old books about psychology and philosophy and all
sorts of stuff," gasped Mitch.  "They're huge, heavy, and very
incomprehensible.  Could you lend your poor beleaguered friend a hand
and help me carry this stuff to the car?"

"How come you have all these books?"

"Principal's decree.  All psychology students have to read these books
for some crackpot reason.  I swear, he's really getting on my nerves."

"Demerits?"

"For loitering about after school!  Think about that, loitering!
You'd think Old McDonald would like students staying behind, but no,
he's taking any excuse to increase the oppression of his terrible
regime!"

"Guys, don't worry about it," said Jody, easily lifting Mitch,
backpack and all.

"If he gets too annoying, well, we can be annoying too," philosophised
Benton.

"The gags?" asked Mitch.

"The gags," agreed Benton.

"Now come on, let's go," said Jody.


To be continued...
...hopefully.


Author's Note
-------------
Come on, guys!  Sign up for High High!  It's more fun than a barrel of
exploding monkeys!  And not as messy or gory!  (End plug)

Oh well, some times you can write really good Impro chapters, other
times all you can manage are 'survival' chapters.  This was very much
a survival chapter.  I hope I managed to get some things done.  The
idea of the Principal being forced to reduce the homework levels and
thus making life hard on the students in other ways is from Twoflower
himself, and helped lend a bit of cohesiveness to this chapter.
Everything else can be blamed on me, though.  ^_^

Thank you for reading.

Steven Scougall
6th June 2000
http://www.crosswinds.net/~sscougall/