The sun rose above the skyscrapers of the city of Eastwood, bathing the land in golden light
and severely annoying anyone who slept facing the window. A new day was dawning in the small
yet busy Japanese city, promising limitless opportunities for its reasonably industrious
citizens.

Four of the city's newer citizens (and their pet dog, Watson) had moved in roughly a week ago
and had settled in quite well. Having already gotten to know the neighbours through the normal
neighbourly rituals of inviting each other around for dinner, and borrowing the lawn mower they
did not really intend to return any day soon.

The second youngest of the new four, Hoshino Ichiiro, walked calmly towards his new school. He
was up and about earlier than most other people, as he aimed to make a good impression on his
first day. As he rounded a corner he caught sight of a small corner of the main building, the
sun glinting brightly off the windows, blinding all those foolish enough to look at them. The
young student shielded his eyes. "Opportunities for all" was the school motto, and judging by
the appearance of the building, the school would be quite a good one. Ichiiro smiled. He
clearly had a bright future at West Eastwood High.

***
West Eastwood High
Part 1: "It's like Heart Heart High, but with a few more weirdoes."
An Epileptic Spider Production, 1999.
This part by Eslington.
***

In one of the classrooms, a boy roughly Ichiiro's age sat with a girl of a similar age,
looking over a large maths textbook.

"I think it's something like add them all up, divide by the number of results and then take
away the mean or something," she said.

"Isn't there something after that?" asked the boy, who was having similar difficulties with
the question.

"I'll check my notes."

"Ok." The boy frowned and crossed out the incorrect equation he had written down. A moment
later he raised his eyebrow in intrest. "I wonder who that is, he looks new."

"Who?"

"The guy coming up to the front gate."

*

Ichiiro stood at the front gate, feeling a little nervous, but a little excited at the same
time. He was nervous about fitting in at the school and he was excited, because there were
so many new people he could meet, like that girl coming over to him at the moment.

"Hi," he said to her as she arrived. "Could you tell me where room 1-F is?"

"Sure, that's my brother's homeroom, and I'll be passing it on the way to my class," she
replied in a friendly voice, bearing a similarly amiable expression.

"Thanks," said Ichiiro as walked with the girl towards the tall grey shape of his school.


*

In the second floor classroom, the boy and the girl looked down at Ichiiro and his guide
with interest.

"I can't see him that well," complained the girl. "What does he look like?"

"Well," began the boy, "he's probably sixteen years old, roughly the same height as me,
medium build, short black hair, brown eyes and he also has a small, red, blob shaped birth
mark on his left hand."

"Is he cute?"

"Kinda," the boy smiled, "I wonder what his name is."

*

"So what's your name?" asked the girl.

"Hoshino Ichiiro. What's yours?"

"Nichiko Makoto," she answered. "Where are you from?"

"Tokyo."

"Have you got any brothers or sisters?"

"I've got a younger sister, Yuka."

*

As Makoto and Ichiiro entered the school and left the unnamed boy's field of vision, the boy
stepped back from the window and said "Oh no..."

"What?"

"I just noticed. I forgot to comb my hair this morning!"

"Ooooh no!" said the girl overdramatically, "Such tragedy! Truly the world shalt come to an
end today!"

"Heh," hehed the boy. "Well, we'd better get to class, Megumi."

"Okay, one sec while I get my stuff..."

*

Makoto led Ichiiro down the corridor, brushing her hair with her fingers in an effort to tidy
it up, talking to Ichiiro about himself until they reached room 1-F.

"Well, see ya later Ichiiro," said Makoto before she turned around and walked off down the
corridor.

Ichiiro turned around and bumped, much to his surprise, into Makoto. Taking a step back, he
looked at the figure again and realised that it wasn't the girl he'd met a few minutes
ago. True, there were several similarities, such as the long brown hair, the dark blue eyes
and the androgynous face and figure, but there was one significant difference between Makoto
and the person before him: the clothes. Whilst Makoto wore a blue skirt and white blouse, the
student Ichiiro had bumped into wore a pair of black trousers and a similarly coloured
jacket. Plus the person before him was (presumably) male.

"Oh, sorry," said the boy, taking a step back to rebalance himself.

"It's alright," responded Ichiiro. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to be Makoto's brother, would
you?"

"Yeah, I am."

"You two really look alike, y'know," [and sound alike too], he noted to himself "I guess it
must get really confusing sometimes."

"Heh, actually it does," responded Nichiko, smiling a bit.

"Actually, Makoto didn't mention your name..."

"Oh sorry, I should have told you earlier. My name's Nichiko Makoto."

"... Now THAT'S confusing."

*

Ichiiro sat down at a spare desk to the right of Makoto's, and turned around in his seat to
look around the classroom. Most of the class seemed quite normal except for a few who had
decided to dye their hair in unnatural colours like purple, electric blue and green. Aside
from the hair colours, a few other things caught his eye as slightly unusual, like the boy in
the corner at the back of the class who seemed to be feverishly trying to finish his
homework. There were also two girls sitting behind him who seemed to be deeply engrossed in a
conversation about the bands currently in the national top ten, despite the fact that the girl
directly behind him was doing all the talking and seemed to be responding to imaginary
responses from her silent friend.

Ichiro heard a giggle from his right and turned to see a short, cute blonde girl, sitting
with her eyes closed, apparently finding something funny about the inside of her eyelids.

"Ano..." began Ichiiro, puzzled. "What are you laughing at?"

The girl opened her eyes and turned to face Ichiiro, smiling.

"I've just found this great story on the internet. It's so funny!"

"The internet? But how?"

"On my Hagira."

"Hagira?"

"My computer, silly."

Ichiiro looked down at the girl's desk. Aside from some mathematical tools (present due to
the subject that was about to be taught) and basic stationery the desk was clear.

"What computer?"

"Oh, that's right!" said the girl, realization spreading across her face, "You're the new
student, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Well, that explains why you don't know about Hagira implants," said the girl, pointing at
her head. "It's a computer implanted into my brain." She tapped one of her temples to
emphasise the fact. Ichiiro could have sworn that he heard a faint metallic noise as she
tapped.

"This may sound like a stupid question... but why do you have a computer implanted into your
brain?"

"Oh, well a few years ago I was hit by a bus," began the girl cheerfully, "and to save my
life the doctors had to give me a few cybernetic implants so I could function as a normal
human being."

"... I see," said Ichiiro, a large sweatdrop forming on the back of his head. "Erm, what's
your name?"

"Ketsuekigata Kyoto."

"Kyoto?" asked Ichiiro, slightly more puzzled.

"Yeah, there was a typo on my birth certificate," Kyoto smiled cutely.

"Uh, right," said Ichiro, another sweatdrop forming next to his previous one. "I think I'm
going to talk to Makoto now."

"Okay!" Kyoto closed her eyes and returned to her giggling.

Ichiiro turned back to Makoto, glad to be speaking to a relatively normal person again.

"She's weird..." he stated.

"Yeah," responded Makoto "but she's OK once you get to know her."

"Er, right."

"Say Ichiiro, what do you think of my sister?"

Ichiiro paused at this unexpected change in topic.

"Makoto? She's nice I suppose, and she's kinda cute."

Makoto smiled and was about to ask another question when he was interrupted by a teacher
entering the room.

"Good morning, class," said the teacher as he entered the room, his eyes scanning the faces of
his students from behind his dark glasses. "Today we have a new student. Hoshino, why don't
you introduce yourself to the class?"

Ichiiro stood up nervously and made his way to the front of the classroom.

"Er, hi. I'm Hoshino Ichiiro, and I come from Tokyo. My family moved here about a week ago
so dad could get a job at Eastwood Chemicals." A small bead of sweat formed on his forehead
as he felt the attention of most of the class focused on him. He persevered. "I'm interested
in science, anime, sport and-"

"That's enough for now, Hoshino," said the teacher, having unpacked his equipment. He handed
Ichiiro an exercise book and a rather thick textbook. "Go back to your seat."

Ichiiro did as requested and sat down quietly.

"Right class, first things first. Could you- yes, what is it, Hoshino?"

"Er, what should I put as your name, sensei?" asked Ichiiro, his pencil poised over the
cover of his book.

"Saotome," stated the teacher flatly.

"Oh, like Saotome Ranma?" said Ichiiro, displaying the amazing human talent of the lips being
quicker than the brain.

"Yes," said the teacher. "As I was saying, it's time for everyone to hand in their homework."

The noise of rustling paper filled the room as sheets of paper were passed from student to
student until they all reached the front of the classroom. The mathematics teacher organized
them into a neat little pile on the corner of his desk and quickly checked the names on each
sheet of paper. As he came to the last sheet, he frowned.

"Shohei. I notice that your work is not here."

The boy in the corner squirmed in is seat under Saotome-sensei's three-megawatt glare.

"Did you do your homework?" asked the sensei, his intense gaze showing even through the
darkness of his glasses.

"Uh, hai sensei," answered the student, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. "But my dog
ate it."

Saotome-sensei leaned back in his chair and opened one of his desk drawers. He brought out
what looked like a large video recorder remote control and pressed a small green button in
the corner.

To Ichiiro's surprise, the wall behind Saotome-sensei rose up, revealing several monitors
stacked on top of each other and lined up in rows. As the sensei turned to look at his wall
of glass, sixteen of the monitors flickered to life, acting as one large monitor to show what
appeared to be security camera footage of a student's bedroom. A set of figures in the corner
of the monitors showed that the recording had been made last night around 8PM. On screen was
the image of Shohei sitting down to his desk and opening his math textbook.

"I've got to get this homework done," declared the on-screen Shohei, picking up his pencil,
intent on getting some work done.

"Shohei!" the voice of a young male, presumably Shohei's brother, called from downstairs.
"Tenchi Muyo's on!"

"Ah! I forgot!" cried Shohei as he jumped from his seat and ran from the room.

The footage stopped and the regular wall slid back down. The sensei turned around in his seat
and looked at the offending anime fan.

"I shall repeat my question Shohei. Think carefully before you answer," Saotome-sensei
inclined his head slightly, the reflection of the light from the window glinting off the dark
lenses of his glasses. "Did you do your homework?"

"No," answered Shohei lamely.

"I see. Get a bucket of water and stand in the corridor."

Shohei did as asked. As the door was closed, the sensei stood up and wrote on the board.

"Today, you must do page 133 of the book, questions 1 to 15. Start now, please."

Ichiiro reached into his bag and took out his calculator. He flicked through his textbook
until he got to page 133, read question 1 and picked up his pencil. These five actions took
him a total of ten seconds.

"Sensei, I've finished!" said Kyoto cheerfully, putting her pencil down.

"Good," said Saotome-sensei, not looking up from marking his students' homework. "Tonight's
homework is on page 140. You may as well do it now."

Ichiiro looked on, astonished, his seemingly ditzy classmate had done all the questions in ten
seconds, despite the fact that it should have taken at least half an hour for a normal sixteen
year old to do the same task.

Kyoto looked over the list of questions and then turned her attention to a sheet of paper.
Ichiiro's eyes widened as Kyoto's hand moved swiftly across the page, writing the questions,
appropriate equations and answers down at an amazing speed, almost faster than he could see.

"Finished!" she said after ten seconds of speedwriting.

"Very good Kyoto. Just keep quiet for the rest of the lesson."

"Wai!" cheered Kyoto, shutting her eyes.

Ichiiro realised his mouth had been hanging open for the last five seconds and shut it.

"Weird..." he said to himself. Saotome looked up at him, slightly annoyed.

"No talking in class."

*

The bell rang. Everyone (except Kyoto) finished writing down their homework and began talking
as Saotome-sensei left the room.

"What lesson is it now?" asked Ichiiro.

"PE," answered Makoto. "I've got to get there early, wanna come with me?"

"All right," replied Ichiiro. After all, reasoned Ichiiro, arriving early might let him make
a good impression.

The two friends stood up and left the room.

Had Ichiiro chosen to listen to some of the conversations his fellow students were involved in
he would have been surprised to discover that most of his classmates was talking about him.

"I wonder what the new guy's like," said one of the girls sitting near the corner of the room.

"Oh, you know these transfer students. They've always been kicked out of some other school for
some reason. But this guy seems pretty normal."

"Yeah, but you never can be sure. For all we know, Ichiiro could be a kitsune or a demon or
something else."

"Well, like Megumi said, he seems normal... Dy'think we should ask Kyoto about this one?"

"May as well. After all, we should be prepared if he's going to turn out to be a weird alien
or something. No offence, Natsume."

"None taken. Hey, Kyoto!"

Kyoto opened her eyes and turned around to look at the group of gossipping girls.

"Yes, Natsume-san?"

"Could you do us a favour and hack into the school records for us?"

"Okay," agreed Kyoto as the girls stood up and walked over to her.

Kyoto had become really quite good at hacking into the school records in the month she had
been at West Eastwood High. In fact the school's archivist had given up trying to keep her
out and had simply resorted to putting up a few signs in the data base which displayed
messages to the effect of "You really shouldn't be doing this, Kyoto."

Kyoto cheerfully ignored the signs, huming a happy little song she'd heard on the radio this
morning as she worked, and within a minute she had Hoshino Ichiiro's file available for her
classmates.

"Got it," she said, smiling cheerfully.

"Great, could you get us a printout of it for us?"

"Okay," Kyoto reached into her bag and pulled out a small lightweight printer and a short
lead with a printer adapter on the end. After plugging the lead into a socket hidden behind
her ear, she switched on the printer and gave it the necessary command to begin printing. A
single sheet appeared, a quarter of it taken up by a black and white picture of Ichiiro.

"Well, does it say anything interesting on it?"

"Hmm, nothing interesting on the basic info. He doesn't seem to be have anything out of the
ordinary about him."

"Really? What's his IQ?"

"108."

"Any mention of psychic powers?"

"No."

"Signs of a mystical destiny?"

"None."

"Is he human?"

"Yep."

"Any incredible martial arts skills?"

"No."

"Incredible computer skills?"

"Nope."

"Weird shape-changing powers?"

"None."

"Any chance of him turning out to be a magical girl?"

"Somehow, I doubt it."

"So he's normal then. Huh. Guess we didn't have to worry about him after all."

"Guess not."

The various girls looked vaguely disappointed at this.

"Well he's kinda cute, I suppose."

"So? That's not unusual."

*

"This school is weird," noted Ichiiro as he left the main building with Makoto.

"How did you work that out?" asked Makoto, grinning.

"Well I started to suspect it when I met that cyborg girl Kyoto... and Saotome-san was another
clue... But it was probably the demon I saw walking down the corridor just now that clued me
in."

"Oh, Ftmch? Kasumi's pet? Don't worry about him, he's harmless. He likes to be scratched
behind the ears you know."

"Right... Why's this school so weird?"

"I dunno. I doubt anyone knows. It's probably just a quirk of fate that attracts all these
weirdos."

"You seem normal, though."

Makoto sighed.

"Well, most of the students are normal enough... But I'm not."

"Huh? Why not?"

"Well it's kinda hard to explain. Er. I'll think about how to describe it while we get
changed," said Makoto, gesturing at the locker room in front of them.

"Alright," Ichiiro opened the door and was about to walk in when Makoto stopped him, a
slightly embarrassed expression on his face.

"Er, actually one of the things about my... abnormality, is that it means I have to get
changed by myself."

"Oh?" said Ichiiro, slightly puzzled. "This isn't going to involve tentacles or something
is it?"

"Well no, it's more of a privacy thing."

"Oh, I'll just wait out here then."

Ichiiro waited by the door for a minute or two as Makoto changed, trying to work out what
he was talking about. He came out wearing a T-shirt, a pair of shorts and some running shoes.

"So what are you so embarrassed about?" asked Ichiiro curiously.

"Well, it's not really not about my privacy..." began Makoto, an expression of worry and
slight embarrassment spreading over his face, "it's about the privacy of the other boys."

"You're gay?" Ichiiro asked, doubting the accuracy of his guess.

"No, well... Y'know my sister..."

"Yes."

"Well, in a sense, I am her."

Ichiiro thought about what this could mean.

"But I met you just after your sister left. How can you possibly be her?"

Makoto sighed again.

"It's kinda complicated... Right, y'know how some twins seem to share a sort of strange
psychic link with each other?"

"Yeah..."

"Well basically, when I was born, something similar happened to me, but the bond between me
and my twin was REALLY strong, making us into essentially the same person. In a sense, sis
isn't really my sister, because ever since the day we were born, there's really only one
mind controlling two bodies..." Makoto looked up at Ichiiro, bearing a slightly worried
expression. "Do you understand?"

Ichiiro tried to grasp what Makoto was telling him. Makoto had turned out to be one of the
weirdest people he'd met today. But at least he... she... Makoto was quite normal in most
other respects.

"I'm not sure if I understand..." began Ichiiro "but I'll probably be able to understand
eventually."

Makoto smiled. "So, do you still want to be friends?"

"Sure," answered Ichiiro with a smile.

*

In room 1-C, Makoto's female body smiled.

"Makoto?" asked one of her friends, "what are you smiling about?"

"Oh, well..."

The bell rang, signalling the end of break.

"I'll tell you later."

*

"I'd better get changed," said Ichiiro, after the bell rang.

Ichiiro walked into the locker room and changed, coming out just as the other students were
arriving.

"So who's the teacher for this lesson then?" asked Ichiiro.

"Teashi-sensei. He's generally a nice guy, as long as you don't make fun of his limbs."

"Limbs?"

"Yeah, most of his arm and half of one of his legs are prosthetic."

"Oh I see..." Ichiiro then remembered that he'd heard of his teacher before. "Wait a minute.
Teashi... wasn't he that champion kendoist who had his arm crushed during an earthquake a
few years ago?"

"Yeah, though he is still quite good with his swords."

"Swords?"

"Yeah he still fights. But now he uses two swords instead of one."

Ichiiro paused while he tried to consider this possibility.

"How can he do that with only one arm?"

"I'll explain later."

*

The current sport that was being practiced in PE was 1500m running, which suited Ichiiro
fine. Being slightly more fit than the average teenager, he had a small edge over the other
students. (At least, the other students who weren't martial artists, the result of genetic
experiments or exceptional cowards.) Ichiiro stood at the start line, standing ready to leap
from his standing start to a blisteringly fast jog. Teashi-sensei stepped up to the side of
the track, a stopwatch in his right hand and a whistle cradled in the unliving fingers of his
left.

The PE teacher was a strikingly tall middle-aged individual with long white hair and ice blue
eyes. Around his forehead he wore a light blue headband, and around most of the rest of his
body he wore a red tracksuit with a white stripe running up the side.

"Right class!" said the teacher loudly. "You shall start after I blow this whistle. Get
ready..." The whistle was bought up to the teacher's lips and blown loudly. The class set off
at a jogging pace, Ichiiro remaining near the middle of the group, just ahead of Makoto.
Ichiiro raised an eyebrow as he saw Kyoto running well ahead of the group at a faster speed
than most racehorses could manage.

Ichiiro was coming up to the finish of his first circuit when he noticed a woman approaching
the edge of the circuit. The woman seemed to be wearing a full suit of plate mail armour,
though she was currently carrying the helmet under her arm, allowing her long platinum blonde
hair to run freely down to her shoulders. From her appearance, Ichiiro guessed that the woman
was probably of European descendance.

"Who's that?" Ichiiro asked Makoto.

"She's our other PE teacher. We get her on Thursdays."

"What's her name?"

"Bösekrieger-sensei. Be careful not to mispronounce it."

"Why not?"

"The last student who did was expelled."

"Expelled?"

"Yeah. Out of a fourth floor window."

The main body of the group continued around the circuit. Some of the class were beginning to
slow down, but Kyoto was already only 100 metres away from completing the run.

As he reached other side of the circuit, he noticed that the PE teachers had walked up to each
other and seemed to be discussing something. As he approached the two teachers, he heard them
start to shout at each other about something.

"Ha!" laughed the woman, who had a strong Swedish accent. "You couldn't teach this class any
sport if your life depended on it!"

"Not only can I do that, I can do it far better than you!"

"Ja, when hell freezes over Moroniske svärdviftare."

"You couldn't teach your way out of a paper bag you Swedish meatball!"

Once again Ichiiro was surprised, as Bösekrieger-sensei appeared to pull a battle-axe out
of thin air and wave it menacingly at his other PE teacher.

"Let me guess," said Ichiiro as he turned his head towards Makoto, "this happens every lesson,
doesn't it?"

"Yep. Try not to be bothered by it. Just keep running."

Ichiiro looked back to the fight. Teashi jumped backwards and grabbed his left hand with his
right and pulled. Ichiiro's eyes widened as the teacher's hand left the end of his arm with
the sound of metal moving against metal. Teashi-sensei was now holding a long katana, his fake
hand acting as the hilt.

"Makoto?" asked Ichiiro.

"Yes?"

"How can he hold two swords if he's got one stuck to the back of his left hand?"

"You'll see..."

Bösekrieger-sensei brought her axe swinging down at Teashi-sensei, who, much to Ichiiro's
shock, parried it with his handless left arm. Bösekrieger's axe stopped halfway though the
arm with a clang. Teashi shifted his weight to the left side of his body, pulling his arm at
a right angle to the axe. His arm seemed to slide off, revealing another katana attached
to his elbow.

"Ah, I see now," said Ichiiro, nodding as he turned his head back to keep his eyes on the
track for the remainder of the run.

*

Kyoto sat and watched the fight, an obvious expression of glee on her face. She had placed
a small bet on Teashi-sensei winning today's battle, and it looked it might pay off.

"Wai! Get her sensei!" she cheered.

Teashi smiled. Bösekrieger swung her axe at his fake leg, hoping to disable him, but Teashi
blocked her strike with his left blade and struck at her arm with his other sword. The blade
bounce off Bösekrieger's armour, leaving a small dent in the metal.

"One point to me, Bösekrieger." Teashi grinned, a common sight when he fought.

"Good for you, Teashi." Bösekrieger swung her axe upwards, giving the other teacher a small
nick on his cheek. "Though I believe now we are tied."

The fight continued, blows being exchanged rapidly, with Kyoto cheering on the swordsman.

By the time the rest of the class arrived, the match was drawn at two hits each. The next
blow would determine the victor. The sound of colliding metal rang through the air as Teashi
blocked Bösekrieger's axe with his left sword. Teashi smiled and brought his other sword down
on the handle of the axe. Showing a surprising amount of strength, he managed to use his
swords to flick Bösekrieger's axe out of her hands and up into the air. Teashi prodded his
opponent in the arm with his sword.

"Checkmate," he grinned.

The class began clapping as Bösekrieger shook hands with Teashi, putting on a little too
much pressure with her gauntleted hand.

A duck fell to the earth, impaled on Bösekrieger's axe. Bösekrieger walked over to her
weapon, picked it up, removed the duck from the blade and walked back to the main school
building.

Teashi-sensei smiled and turned back to his class.

"Right, class." he said as he recovered the covering for his arm and sheathed his sword,
"I forgot to check what the best time was, so you'll all have to do the run again."

And lo, there was much complaining.

*

The rest of the lesson, and the break that followed, passed without incident, and Ichiiro sat
down in a chair, preparing himself for the next class.

"So who's our chemistry teacher then? A witch or something?"

"Actually, yes."

"...oh."

The class chatted as they prepared for the lesson, talking about various little things like
the latest rumours, the fight earlier today, the new student and what was on television last
night. Everybody seemed to have a subject on their lips except one girl seated near Ichiiro
who was simply sitting at the side of a group of girls and nodding at something they said
every now and then. The girl had long, night black hair and mysterious dark green eyes.

[I wonder why she isn't speaking to anyone,] he thought to himself.

"Hi," he greeted the girl. The girl turned around and smiled.

"[Hi,]"

Ichiiro blinked; the girl hadn't actually said anything, but he had heard her voice clearly.

[Oh, she must be a telepath.]

"[So you're telepath?]" Ichiiro tried to direct this thought to the girl. The girl merely
looked at him in a puzzled manner.

"[Is that all you can say?]" the girl communicated to him.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you were telepathic."

"[I am, but it only works one way.]"

"Oh. Right. Who are you?"

"[Hikarino Uta. You must be that Hoshino guy that Natsume was talking about.]"

"Yeah."

"[Got any weird abilities or anything?]"

Ichiiro was mildly surprised at the direct question. "No."

"[Any weird genetic abnormalities?]"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"[Oh well. D'ylike music?]"

"Yeah, a bit."

"[I love singing. Everyone says I have a good voice.]"

Ichiiro never had a chance to continue the conversation, as the teacher pushed open the door
at that moment, silencing the class.

The class' chemistry teacher stood at about five and a quarter feet tall and wore a tall
pointed hat and a slightly unscientific plain black dress which covered most of her body,
leaving only her hands and head visible. As she walked through the door, it became apparent
that the black fabric of her clothes was not actually very plain; it just appeared so when she
was standing still. As she walked to her desk, Ichiiro noticed that her dress had several
complex cobweb style designs sewn into it in a strange sort of thread that reflected small
amounts of light as she walked. Various things that looked vaguely like magical symbols
shimmered across the cloth as she moved, though none of the objects ever seemed to appear in
the same place twice.
The teacher had thin fingers, with long fingernails, painted red with nail varnish. Her face
couldn't be seen clearly as the teacher had chosen to hide whatever she really looked like
with lots of white make up and far too much eye shadow. Her hair was a deep rich black,
though this effect had been achieved with various hair coloration methods rather than genetic
inheritance. Ichiiro suspected that her belladonna blue eyes were the result of tinted contact
lenses.

The teacher sat down behind her desk and took a small jar filled with powder from her bag. She
poured this powder out onto her desk and began mumbling something in a long forgotten arcane
language. She reached into the bag again and brought out a long, elaborately carved dagger. Her
mumbling raised in volume, and she cradled the dagger carefully in her right hand. Slowly,
she moved her left hand until it was roughly a foot abouve the powder and brought the point
of the dagger up to her index finger. She pierced the finger and allowed a drop of her own
blood to fall into the powder. There was a flash of light and a burst of smoke which obscured
the desk for a moment. When the smoke cleared, the powder had been replaced by a pile of
paper, which looked very much like chemistry homework done in the handwriting of the members
of the class, all of it marked and graded.

The teacher waved her hand and scattered the sheets into the air, where they all landed with
perfect precision on the desks of the class. She raised an eyebrow as she spotted one desk
where the homework hadn't landed.

"Ah yes, the new student," said the teacher in what was presumably meant to be a mysterious
voice. "Your name's Hosino Ichiiro isn't it?"

Ichiiro nodded, and the teacher wrote the new name down on her register.

"My name is Kaji-sensei," Kaji looked up at the class and said, "For today's experiment, read
the sheet on your desk. And after you have done it, do questions one, two and four."
Kaji-sensei then pulled a leather bound grimoire out of her bag and set it down on her desk,
opening it to a page near the middle.

Ichiiro looked at the sheet and groaned. He could never get the hang of doing experiments in
chemistry, despite his good grasp of the theoretical side of the subject. Whenever he tried
to do anything more complex than stirring a solution, he always wound up with the wrong
results. Either the chemical turned the wrong colour, the water took too long to boil or some
twit (normally him) knocked over a beaker at the wrong moment.

Ichiiro wrote down the experiment in his exercise book and measured out the necessary
chemicals into the beakers provided. He carefully added the chemicals to each other and noted
down the results. He looked at his final result: a dark crimson sludge with small white things
floating in it. He looked around at the results of his classmates' experiments. Uta's beaker
was half full of transparent light green liquid, Makoto had gained similar results, Kyoto's
solution was slightly lighter shade of green, and the other guy's beaker-

Had been replaced with a lot more beakers, Bunsen burners, chemical jars and other scientific
equipment, most of it connected to a small metal box, the function of which Ichiiro could only
begin to imagine.

"What..." asked Ichiiro, to anyone who might have been listening "is that?"

Uta looked up from her work.

"[Oh boy... He's at it again.]"

"What's he doing?"

"[Well it's Monday, so he's probably trying to either cure the common cold or perfect his
Omega bomb again.]"

The scientist stepped back from his work and admired his creation. Instead of the normal
school uniform, he wore a lab coat covered with small electrical devices around the front, but
with a large flat object around the back, which was presumably the power source for all his
gadgets. On his wrists he wore two wrist top computers, each screen showing different
functions. The boy had short, slightly singed dark brown hair and bloodshot copper green
eyes, which were covered by a set of safety goggles. Against all expectations, he did not
wear a thick pair of glasses.

Ichiiro watched as the scientist left his work and walked over to Kyoto.

"Kyoto-chan," asked the boy in a shy voice. "Would you like to help me with my latest,
greatest creation?"

"No thanks, Kisaru," responded Kyoto, her normally bubbly personality cooling in the presence
of Kisaru. "Go and bug someone else, nerd."

"Are you sure, Kyoto?" he asked pleadingly. "I'll name it after you."

"No."

Ichiiro was surprised, every time he'd seen Kyoto, she'd always been extremely cheerful and
friendly. Now, however, she was acting extremely cold and aloof.

As the conversation continued, Ichiiro turned to Makoto. "Who's the scientist?"

Makoto looked up from his work at Kisaru. "Oh that's Hagira Kisaru. He's a scientist."

"Hagira? Aren't Kyoto's implants called the same thing?"

"Yeah," Makoto nodded. "He designed, built and installed them himself."

"So he really likes Kyoto?"

"Yeah, I guess he sees a bit of himself in her..."

"Why isn't he doing the experiments like everyone else?"

"He did them all at the start of the year. Now he just uses the lesson to work on his
projects."

"Any idea what he's working on now?"

"Absolutely none."

Ichiiro watched as Kisaru tried to convince Kyoto to work with him with no success. After a
few minutes, he gave up and went back to his equipment, looking slightly less enthusiastic.
Ichiiro returned his attention to his book and wrote down the result of his experiment and a
few possible explanations as to how it went so horribly wrong. Just as he was putting down
the last pencil stroke, he heard a sound that spoke of incredible danger and doom for all in
the area.

"Whoops," said Kisaru, frowning. He then raised his hand and said, "Er, Kaji-sensei?"

"Yes Hagira?" responded Kaji, looking up from her grimoire.

"I think we'll need to evacuate the building. My project's about to blow up."

"Alright then. Class, pack your stuff away and leave the building in an orderly fashion."

The entire class began packing away their equipment calmly, Ichiiro doing it slightly faster
than the rest of the class due to the small rush of terror he experienced at the news of the
explosion. Kaji-sensei pressed a small button on the desk and began packing away her
possessions.

As the class calmly filed out of the classroom, the public address system grated to life, and
a pleasant secretarial voice informed the whole school that, due to an accident in one of the
chemistry rooms, everybody should leave the building in an orderly fashion.

Within a minute, Ichiiro's class was standing outside on the front yard. As Kaji-sensei
checked that all the students were present, the rest of the school made their way out of the
fire exits and into somewhat orderly groups.

"Hagira?" asked Ichiiro, "what were you working on?"

"It was a machine for making milkshakes."

"Milkshakes?"

"Uh-huh," affirmed Hagira. "It even had a small device that added whipped cream to them as
well."

Suddenly a large explosion ripped through the school, blowing parts of the building high into
the sky and sending a small but powerful shockwave through the area.

"Although the self-destruct mechanism might have been a bit of a mistake," admitted the
scientist, frowning.

Bösekrieger-sensei, who was standing in front of the wreckage of the school, raised a
megaphone to her lips.

"Has anyone been hurt?" she asked, her already loud voice amplified by the megaphone.

"I broke a nail!" shouted someone from the back. Bösekrieger-sensei shot a glance at the vain
student and then raised the megaphone again.

"Right, who's responsible?" she asked, a trace of anger apparent in her voice.

"We're quite responsible," answered the members of the comedy club, followed by a rimshot
from a member of the school orchestra. Sheepishly, Kisaru raised his hand.

"Kisaru," began Bösekrieger, "for blowing up the school, again, you're on cleaning duty for
the next two weeks."

Ichiiro looked puzzled. "How can he clean the school if it's been blown up?"

"It'll be rebuilt by tomorrow," answered Makoto.

"How?"

"Well Moku-sensei, our woodwork teacher, is REALLY good at building stuff."

"...I see." Ichiiro looked at the rubble that had been the school as a middle aged man
wearing a construction worker's helmet and a tool belt ran gleefully towards the rubble,
followed by a few trucks full of bricks, cement mixers and various other building materials.

"So what do should we do now?" asked Ichiiro.

"We just get to go home early," answered Makoto with a shrug.

Ichiiro sighed and looked back at the smoking ruins of his school, which were quickly being
replaced by the unsmoking brickwork of the new school building, and smiled.

"Y'know, I guess there's one good thing about this school."

"Oh?" asked Makoto "what?"

"At least I won't have much trouble fitting in."

*

Mini-Author's notes:

*The bit where the author thanks his pre-readers and what not*


Muchos Grasiuos to Phoebe-san for being such a great help with this fic, supplying names
and telling me lot of stuff about the Japanese school system.
Thanks to Phoebe, John Evans, Katy Coope, W4, Steven Scougall and Myth for pre-reading.
Oh and ta tae Jonantan Streith for helping me with Bösekrieger's insults.

*Stuff about the story*

I'd suggest that future authors go with a nice and fun "Villain of the week" sorta style of
writing. Sure, introduce a plot if you want, but try to avoid making it as complex as
Do-gooders, and try to re-use characters if possible.
Also do not give Ichiiro any sort of abnormality permanently, he's just a normal guy in an
abnormal situation. His lack of skill at chemistry is not exceptional; it's just a small
weakness. Feel free to give him strange abilities for a short period of time, but nothing that
will have a lasting effect on him.
I would advise future authors to try and discuss this fic amongst themselves to make sure that
it doesn't become confusing or over-complicated.

*Stuff about Makoto*

Just to make sure people write him/her IC, I thought I'd put a little explanation here about
Makoto.
Makoto is not a boy who just happens to also have a girl's body strolling around as well (or
vice versa) (s)he's been raised both as a boy and a girl and shows little bias towards either
gender. Makoto's friends tend to react towards him/her as if (s)he was a friend of the same
gender, while people unfamiliar with Makoto will react according whichever body they're meeting.
Makoto will rarely let one body be distracted by something (s)he's seen with the other, as
(s)he is used to seeing things from both bodies.

C&C to me at: eslington@bigfoot.com