WARNING: This part contains some puns which require knowledge of Japanese to understand. Liner notes are provided at the end of the story. *** It was green. Hoshino Emiko looked out the window at the lawn. She sighed happily. This was what she liked most about Higashimori -- the grass. Back in Tokyo they were lucky to see a Zen rock garden, much less a lawn; Higashimori, though, had been built like an American city. Of course, despite Saburo's higher pay at his new job, the payments on the house were uncomfortably high; even if everyone did call the city "Eastwood" for some reason, it was still in Japan. But it was nice to have a lawn, to be able to stretch her arms, to watch Ichiiro coming home from school -- was it that late already? she thought -- to see the blossoming cherry tree outside, to -- No, it _wasn't_ that late already, she realized, as her son came into the Western-style foyer. "Ichiiro? What are you doing home so early?" "Someone blew up the school," he replied, putting his shoes in their usual place in the old shoe closet. Emiko sighed a rather different sigh from her previous one. "Very funny, Ichiiro. Really, what happened?" In reply, Ichiiro simply walked into the living room and pushed aside the curtains on the far window, revealing a plume of smoke still visibly rising above where the school had been. "Unfortunately," he added, "it'll be rebuilt by tomorrow, and I have math homework." "What kind of demons do you *have* for teachers?!" "No demons, yet." *** West Eastwood High Part 2 "It's like Kimagure Orange Road put through a blender." by Aponar Kestrel original concept by Eslington *** It was green. Ichiiro stood there, staring at the school in disbelief. He had expected it to look somewhat different, of course, but not _green_. In fact, to call it merely "green" was an understatement -- it was, bar none, the most revolting color anyone could possibly create with any admixture of paints. It kind of reminded him of one of his chemistry projects. Doing his best not to look directly at it, Ichiiro continued towards the school, reminding himself why he had come so early -- to sign up for the clubs. The building was almost completely deserted; it was barely after sunrise, after all, and now that he was in the clubs' wing of the school, he could see from the posted schedules and lack of activity that none of them met Tuesday morning. Fortunately, all of the clubs had pamphlets for the convenience of prospective members, so Ichiiro simply walked along, taking one from each stack, pile, or box. Most of them were fairly mundane: Ikebana, Kendo, Drama, and the like; others, such as Sorcery, Wizardry, and the Magical Girls' Association, were more in keeping with what he had already come to expect from West Eastwood High. He idly flipped through the pamphlets as he walked downstairs towards classroom 1-F. The Manga Club looked interesting, even if it seemed geared more toward creation than appreciation. Ikebana and Magical Girls' were right out, for much the same reason, although he did note with some interest that the latter accepted the villainous and heroic alike. Student Affairs would be too much like work. Maybe he should sign up for Kempo... around here, he thought to himself, he might need it. A sound from the classroom he was passing (his own, he noted wryly) caught his attention. It sounded like -- no, it *was* someone crying, as he discovered upon entering; a silver haired girl sat at the desk behind and to the left of his, her head shuddering every few moments with her sobs. "Hey," he said, "are you alright?" The silver head popped up, revealing a small clear container, half-full of water, and three gray eyes. The latter, though somewhat reddened and lacrimose, blinked at him. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said, drying her eyes on the kerchief about her neck. "Anything you wanna talk about?" he pressed, as he'd seen the guys in some of the shoujo anime do. (This barely won out against "Whoa! Are you a Sanjiyan Unkara?") She finished wiping away the tears, and blinked again to clear her eyes. "Other than the fact that the wizardry club pays me five thousand yen for a vial of tears from a third eye, no." She held up the vial and smiled, although it seemed a bit forced. "I'm fine, really." "Oh. Er. Sorry," he said sheepishly, hand behind head. "I'm new here." Her eyebrows rose briefly in recognition -- an interesting sight, with three of them. "Oh, you must be the new student Natsume mentioned! Hoshino Ichiro, right?" "Ichiiro, actually, yeah." She fell over laughing. "Why's that so funny?" he said, defensively. "I'm colorblind," she called up, still chuckling as she righted herself. He blinked. "It's not *that* funny!" "Probably not, but I'm excessively emotional at the moment because of the tears, so I needed an outlet." "...Anyway, what's *your* name? Not Hitomi, I hope...." She shuddered. "Thank God, no. Murasaki Aiko. Nice to meet you." "... Hitomi might have been better." *** "...forces of darkness?" "No." "Nobility of a backwater planet come to hide from your enemies?" "No." It was to the sounds of this exchange that Ketsuekigata Kyoto entered class 1-F. Aiko was standing next to Ichiiro's desk, grilling him in an attempt to figure out what his particular peculiarity was. "Deity in disguise?" Aiko asked. "No. I think you already asked that one, anyway," Ichiiro said, sighing. "Hi Ichiiro, hi Aiko! Oh, so that's why you were gone yesterday. What's up?" Kyoto asked, placing her bag by the desk. "He won't tell me what he is," Aiko said, indicating the "Normal human, as far as we know," she replied cheerfully. Aiko blinked incredulously. "No way." "Yes way," Ichiiro retorted, exasperated. "Boring, baseline human. No magical powers, no esoteric skills, nothing." He brightened, chuckling. "Hey, maybe I'll get caught in one of Hagira's experiments gone horribly wrong." "That's the same as saying `one of Hagira's experiments,'" Kyoto said, suddenly venomous. Ichiiro looked puzzled. "What about yoOWW!" he shouted. Aiko retracted her leg. "Sorry!" she said, with all the credibility of a politician just before election day. Kyoto, back to her usual self already, looked at them quizzically, but quickly formed a conclusion[1]. Ichiiro, however, took the hint. "Anyway, why _were_ you gone yesterday?" he asked Aiko. Aiko looked a bit shifty-eyed for a moment -- another interesting sight -- and finally just said, "It's not important." Ichiiro smiled. "I can hound you as long as you hounded me," he said. "She got contacts. Wanna see what her glasses looked like?" Kyoto asked out of the blue, digging around in her bag. "NO!" Aiko exclaimed over Ichiiro's "Sure". This didn't stop Kyoto, who simply pulled out her printer and plugged it in. The picture that came out was in color, this time. "Kyoto, how could you?" "Aww, come on. It's a cute picture. Ne, Ichiiro?" Kyoto passed the picture -- a recording from her eyes four days ago, according to the text in the lower right -- over to Ichiiro. He took a look at it. The glasses were just plain odd, but somehow she did manage to look cute in them. "Yeah, I suppose," he admitted. [2] "I am *not* cute!" --- [1] Her thought processes went something like this: - Aiko doesn't want Ichiiro to say something. - Aiko's trying to hide something. - Ichiiro knows what it is. - Ichiiro must have met Aiko before today. * Ichiiro and Aiko were a couple, and Aiko doesn't want it known. It has been said that a computer is a device for generating the wrong answer far more quickly than could any human. [2] Taken as further proof of the above conclusion, which can be taken as further proof of the one below it. *** Ichiiro closed his math textbook as the bell rang to signal the end of first period. Around him, students immediately began to break out into conversation. Makoto turned to Ichiiro. "Coming?" "Yeah," he said, packing up his exercise book. They walked off to the gym. "Hey, wait up!" Aiko called, dashing out the door after them. Kyoto turned around to face the group of students behind her. "Hey, guys, guess what I found out about Ichiiro and Aiko..." --- "By the way, why did you kick me back there before class?" Ichiiro asked. "My leg's still sore." Makoto looked at Aiko in disbelief. "You did what?!" Aiko sweatdropped. "We were talking to Kyoto, and he was about to mention the fact that Hagira made the Hagira." Makoto's expression changed to one of alarm and concern. "I'm sorry," he said, turning to face Ichiiro. "I should have warned you -- for some reason, Kyoto can't stand Kisaru. At first we thought she just resented owing him her life, but she's not really like that the rest of the time -- normally she's probably the most carefree person you've ever met. Whenever he comes up in conversation or comes near her, though, she just starts acting completely different." "It's like he's anathema to her," Aiko added. "He seems like a nice enough guy, but she just can't stand him. Normally, she ignores the fact that he made her implants; if it's brought to her attention, she goes almost berserk." Ichiiro considered this briefly. "But she calls it a Hagira..." Makoto nodded. "And she calls _him_ Kisaru." "I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again: Weird." "Don't we know it," Aiko said, stopping in front of the girls' dressing room. "See you in a moment." "Back in a flash myself," said Makoto, leaving Ichiiro to shake his head incredulously. *** Bösekrieger parried Teashi's thrust, giving her axe a sharp twist to catch the blade of his detachable katana between the blade and handle of the axe. The katana went flying blade-first towards one of the students from class 1-D, who caught it absent-mindedly as he listened to Kyoto. Teashi, undaunted, quickly brought his other katana up to strike Bösekrieger on the side of the helmet, striking the third and final blow of the match. "Not bad," commented Ichiiro, who was still running around the track. "Hm?" asked Makoto, who was keeping pace with him. "Teashi-sensei's last maneuver," answered Aiko, who could probably have been running faster. "That's two days in a row; I'll have to bet on Bösekrieger-sensei next time." *** It was green. This fact cheered Ichiiro immensely. Granted, it looked more like the green on the outside of the school than the transparent light green the others got, but it was still green. He wondered, though, whether Kaji-sensei had repeated the lesson for the benefit of those few who didn't finish last time or so she could further study her grimoire. Regardless, he had saved his paper from yesterday, so -- with a few strike-outs to change "crimson" to "school-colored" -- he was done. Makoto's eyes flicked over to Aiko, then to Ichiiro. --- "Yeah!" Megumi said. "I heard it in the hall from Hisashi-chan, and he got it straight from Kyoto!" Makoto shook her head. "They haven't shown any signs of it so far..." "Of _course_ not, Makoto! They don't want anyone to know!" "Hey!" Bösekrieger shouted. "You, sladdertaskorna in the back! Quiet before I use you as the ball!" Megumi and Makoto, having heard that word enough to recognize it as meaning "chatterboxes", wisely shut up as Bösekrieger continued to lecture the class on the rules of cricket. *** As soon as the bell rang Ichiiro leaned over to put up the pencil he'd been trying (and failing) to balance on his fingertip, rummaging around for a few moments before pulling a large, flat lunch box from his bag. By the time he looked back up, the classroom was empty except for himself. He blinked. "Weird..." He was saying that far too often lately, he reflected. --- In the cafeteria, roughly ninety-eight percent of the student body was already standing in the mass of people that did service as a line; The rest either habitually brought lunch or had come quickly enough to be already through. Nichiko Makoto's female half had just become one of the latter. Ichiiro looked around the cafeteria, checking the visible fiftieth of the school for a familiar face when he spied her waving at him from across the room. He waved back, and after a moment's gesturing, they both walked toward a table in the corner. "Hey," he said. "Where's your, ah... other body?" She laughed. "You might just as well call him my brother. We're not really separate people, but the language isn't designed for saying, for example, `I'm not really separate people.' He's in the middle of that." She gestured at the slowly draining crowd. "Ah." Ichiiro paused, looking at the large, oddly bluish rings and green flower buds that made up the majority of Makoto's lunch. "Is the food really worth the trouble?" "Yeah. We get a lot of off-planet visitors here, and so we can get some really good alien foods. Here, try some." She cut a wedge out of the ring and offered it to Ichiiro. Ichiiro looked at it dubiously, but took it anyway. It smelled faintly of brine. "Go on," Makoto prodded. "It won't bite you back." Ichiiro popped it in his mouth and chewed. His eyes opened wide, and he swallowed. "Remind me to be a bit faster on my feet tomorrow." --- Aiko fell into Makoto's arms. "Whoa! Watch it! Oh, hi, Aiko." Makoto helped her to her feet. "Sorry," Aiko said breathlessly. She would have smoothed out her blouse if there had been any room in the crowd to do so. So close... "That's alright. We're almost there." He pushed the last half meter up to the counter, Aiko in tow. "Janus squid and rice!" he called out to the frantically working staff behind the counter. "Beef curry!" Aiko shouted half a moment later. In less than a minute, they had their food and were out of the mob, now down to forty percent. "Let's go outside," Aiko suggested. "There's no one out there today." "Sure -- but you sit facing the school." --- "What, you don't still think I'm cute?" Ichiiro rolled his eyes. "Yes, fine, I think you're cute. Happy?" --- "What, do you think I'm cute?" Makoto rolled his eyes. "No, Aiko, I wouldn't call you cute. Happy?" *** "What's the next class?" Ichiiro asked Makoto's more familiar half as they headed back to class 1-F. "It's English -- of a sort," he replied distractedly as they entered the room. Behind the desk stood an American dressed in leather chaps, boots and spurs, and a ten-gallon hat, with six-shooters hanging on his gunbelt. "-Howdy. Yew must be the new student. Ah'm Mr. Jesse Kent. What's yore name?-" he asked in English. Ichiiro blinked, and dug around in his memory. "-I'm sorry, please say it again a little slower?-" "Howdy. Yew must be the new student. Ah'm Mr. Jesse Kent. What's yore name?" "Hoshino Ichiiro," Ichiiro replied, after a moment to decipher his words. "-Nice ta meet yew, Ichiro.-" Ichiiro sweatdropped. *** "So who's our next teacher?" Ichiiro asked Makoto as he put up his English text, rubbing his head. `What an awful accent,' he thought to himself. "Yamano-sensei," Makoto replied, underlining a passage in his own text to look over later. "She's a golem. She teaches the class across the hall, so she'll be here in just a moment." Right on cue, the door opened, and Ichiiro's eyes almost bugged out. She stood head and shoulders taller than Kent-sensei had, with granite skin, ruby eyes, shoulder-length golden hair, and a body all the sculptors of the Renaissance would have given their collective right eyes to be able to carve in marble. Pygmalion himself would have been envious. (If anyone had paid attention to Shohei -- which, as a rule, no one did -- they would have seen him drooling.) She strolled casually to the desk, her classical kimono -- patterned, oddly enough, with feathers -- rippling about her svelte form. Ichiiro tore his attention away from her body long enough to listen to her almost operatic voice. "You would be Hoshino Ichiiro?" Ichiiro nodded dumbly. "I am Yamano Tamako, your literature teacher. You will need this book --" she held up a relatively thin textbook -- "for the remainder of this semester." She handed the book to Natsume, who passed it back. "Please begin by reading aloud the first three poems on page 128." Ichiiro turned the book to the proper page. "Furuikeya/kawazu tobikomu..." *** "... and so, the image of autumn-- Yes, Nichiko?" "A fight just broke through the outside wall of classroom 1-C." The entire class -- minus Ichiiro, who didn't know where class 1-C was -- rushed to the windows on the left wall to get a good view. Ichiiro followed, wondering how Makoto had known. The answer became immediately apparent; a rather large orange demon was busily raging about outside, holding a hapless maiden in distress while attempting to fend off attacks from the maiden's two heroic defenders. The maiden in question was Nichiko Makoto. Ichiiro recognized one of the defenders as Saotome-sensei, who pulled out some sort of laser device; the other, in a something that looked like a cross between choral robes and a sailor fuku, was unknown to him. "Who's the one who looks like an extra on `Magical Girl Hunters'?" Ichiiro whispered to Makoto, as the magical girl in question jumped over the demon to attack from behind. The demon let off an upwards blast of some sort, missing her by inches and leaving itself open towards Saotome, who promptly took advantage of the opportunity and fired, wounding and distracting it. "Her name's Shirosawa Megumi," Makoto replied, also whispering, "and a friend of mine in class 1-C. She actually did some voice acting in one of the earlier episodes of MGH as an extra. Right now, she's Angelic Guardian Avrael, though." "Ah," ahed Ichiiro, as Avrael proceeded to unleash the light of heaven on the hapless demon. He glanced over to Yamano-sensei, who was standing relatively near. Her eyes were glowing. `Oh, no, now our classroom will have a hole in it too,' he thought briefly, before he noticed her clasping her hand to her breast. "Saotome-dono," whispered Yamano-sensei breathily, unaware she had spoken aloud. Ichiiro blinked, and returned his attention to the remnants of the fight. Makoto -- the one outside -- stood up and brushed the ash that had once been a rather large orange demon off her uniform. A duck, scorched by the demon's missed shot, fell to the ground next to her. *** He was green. Quite a contrast from Yamano-sensei, the history teacher looked rather like a little squid stuck on top of a big squid. His mouth was hidden by a mass of small tentacles, and he moved across the floor on seven or eight of his pseudopods. Once behind the desk, he reached up with one of the appendages he had previously been "walking" on, and pulled down what appeared to be a star chart. "Ah, a new student. I presune you uould 'e Hoshino Ichiiro?" At Ichiiro's nod, he continued. "Nost Ja'anese can't 'ronounce ny nane, so you nay call ne Takozushi. Yes, I know uhat it neans. You uon't need a 'ook fhor this class; eurything is couered in the lectures, assuning you can understand ne through ny accent." Ichiiro nodded again; once you realized he just didn't have any lips, he wasn't too hard to understand. Not half as hard as Kent-sensei. "Alright. Ifh I recall correctly, ue had gotten as fhar as the 'attle oth Yeyyiq, yes?" There was general agreement from the class. "When En'eror Skolig heard a'out the atrocities at Yeyyiq --" "Which were manufactured out of whole cloth by his own propaganda department," a voice called out from the front. "I shall choose to ignore that, Natsune. When En'eror Skolig heard a'out Yeyyiq, he agreed to a confherence at Lanhol --" here he indicated a star on the chart behind him -- "but his 'eacefhul intentions uere 'etrayed uhen the Raqae an'assador treacherously shot hin." Natsume said something irreproducible in the Roman alphabet, the translation of which was quite probably unprintable for an entirely different reason. "Emperor Skolig was the most belligerent tyrant ever to ascend the Saneti throne. *Your* people benefited from his death even more than did ours." "And who do the Raqae think they are to deternine that!" Takozushi-sensei shouted, turning a slightly darker shade of green. Ichiiro, meanwhile, was scribbling notes like mad. *** Natsume and Takozushi-sensei were too busy arguing about the Second Triilka War to take any notice of the bell ringing. The rest of the class, on the other hand, had by and large already packed up, and a few had even taken advantage of Takozushi-sensei's immersion in the argument and surreptitiously left early. Aiko waved to Makoto as she filed out the door with the rest of the class. "See you at practice!" Ichiiro was the only person that had actually been taking notes once the lecture had gone off on a tangent, but even he began to pack up when the bell rang. Makoto picked up his own books and stood by Ichiiro's desk. "Hey. Mind if I walk with you?" "Yeah, sure," he replied absently, stuffing the last of his books into his bag. "Wait, didn't Aiko say something about practice?" "Aiko and my sister are both in the kempo club; I'll see her that way." "Kempo? How good are you?" Ichiiro asked as they walked out of the room, leaving the two extraterrestrials to their argument. *** "By the way," Makoto asked her sparring partner, "what do you think of Ichiiro?" "Hm? He's alright, I suppose. Why?" "There's a rumor going around that you two used to be a couple." "_What?!_" --- "By the way," Makoto asked his companion, "what do you think of Aiko?" "Hm? She's alright, I suppose. Why?" "There's a rumor going around that you two used to be a couple." "_What?!_" *** Elsewhere, across space and time, among eldritch horrors the merest glimpse of which would reduce any ordinary human to a quivering, babbling wreck if they hadn't read enough H. P. Lovecraft, the sort of person you probably know as a Dark General was making a report. "We've discovered a hole in the continuum barrier, your Majesty." The Queen looked at him skeptically. "A `hole', Kary? The barrier has been invulnerable to our greatest minds and most powerful mages for millennia! How could this hole have been created?" "We don't know, your Majesty," he replied, absently pushing his long, fiery-red hair out of his eyes again. "It just appeared with no warning; we didn't even realize what it was at first. It's too small to permit large-scale transit; two people at most, if they're slight of build." "I see. Have Tiamat select someone to be sent through. Perhaps we can find out how the hole was made, and reproduce it." The Queen stopped before the door to her chambers, opening it. "In the meantime, see if the hole can be widened." "I shall do what I can." She closed the door behind her as Kary walked off. "It won't be much longer now," she thought. There was no way she could have known just how right she was. *** "I saw the most interesting sign at work today," Hoshino Saburo said, hanging up his coat. "It read, `No Pets Except Seeing Eye Dogs and Magical Companions'. What do you suppose they meant by that?" Ichiiro didn't even glance up from his homework. "Just what it said, Dad. Just what it said." *** Liner notes: Higashimori -- higashi==east, mori==wood Sanjiyan Unkara -- Also known as the "Triclops", of 3x3 Eyes. Ichiiro -- While Ichiro is a common enough name, meaning "first son", Ichiiro means "one color", or "monochrome". Murasaki -- purple; Murasaki Shikibu was the pen name of the author of _The Tale of Genji_ Aiko -- in this case, "indigo child"; also puns to "Eye-ko" Yamano Tamako -- "spirit child of the mountain". "Pele's hair" -- long golden strands of volcanic glass, of which Yamano-sensei's hair is formed "Furuikeya..." -- the start of a famous haiku by Bashou: Furuikeya An old pond kawaru tobikomu A frog jumps in mizu no oto The sound of water Takozushi -- tako==squid; you should know what sushi is. --- Bibliography: - http://www.io.com/~nishio/japan/names.html "Names for Japanese"; a wonderful reference for any fanfiction author. Includes historical names as well. - http://otakuworld.com/shibai/pages/kamishibai.html "Otaku World - Kamishibai Viewer"; a program to view illustrated stories. The name `Takozushi' -- though not the character -- was taken from the included story "The Legend of Ika Takozushi", which is actually a very good story and well worth the download time. - _Simplified Swedish Grammar_, by Edwin J. Vickner - _Wesseley's Dictionary of the Swedish and English Languages_ ... whence came the word "sladdertaskorna". --- Author's one-liners: This part 100% DDD defiant! ^_^ Presenting the world's first love demiheptagon! ^_^; Makoto-kun: In stereo Makoto-chan: In stereo where available. where available. Remind me never to do this again. I won't listen, but remind me anyway. ^_^;; --- Author's notes: This chapter is the best thing I've ever written! ...yes, it is the only thing I've ever written. And yes, while I wrote it I _did_ consume unhealthy amounts of leaf-derived substances in a manner not involving eating the leaves. Hey, I like Earl Grey. Future authors: - There's no need to continue the accent if you don't want to; by now Ichiiro should be able to understand Takozushi perfectly. Just remember not to put B, F, M, P, V, or W sounds in any Saneti words you happen to feel like making up. ^_^;; - On a similar note, no, we don't really talk like that here in Texas. We do say "y'all", but that's it. - I don't want to introduce *that* many permanent plot points, so the people in the scene near the end really should be gone by the end of the week. Thanks to: Eslington for providing feedback, nitpicks, and the sign at Saburo's work. Bastion, for further feedback, suggesting a gratuitous reference, and a few odd titles. "Monochromatic for the People," indeed. ^_^;; Ranma X, it's in your hands. No pressure!