At West Eastwood there is a great evil. It lurks in a bunker deep beneath the school, hiding from the light of day and unproductivity. The teachers refer to this evil as He Who Should Not Be Named. The few students who know of his existence shudder as they call him The Nameless One. To most others and the less wise he is simply know as.... Principal Hiretsukan. Hiretsukan Tenshi, age 35, was busy working in his bunker through the night. It seemed to most of the school's staff that he never slept. Kaji-sensei once suggested that he was some kind of undead monster. That would have explained his aura that makes people so uncomfortable. Later investigation (and an attack by vampire-slayers) showed that he was quite alive and was quite upset that he was disturbed. Further theories where produced, ranging from satanic intervention, coffee for blood, and being the reincarnation of Hitler, but all of them where refuted by lack of evidence. No, Hiretsukan was just a very odd man. He was doing what he did every night - working. Currently he was looking over a new student application from one Wåterfïend, Kraken, exchange student from Lefein, apparently a very, very, very small country somewhere in Japan. Hiretsukan wasn't stupid. He had aced all of his classes from pre-school to university, especially geography. Currently he was examining the application form. To be more specific, he was examining the paper that the application had been written on. "The paper appears to have slight inconstancies in texture near all the filled information." stated Hiretsukan into a small forensic tape-recorder. "The texture is similar to that of minor water contact with paper, possibly from a slightly damp hand." He levelled a magnifying glass to the paper, examining the writing. "Ink is slightly smudged, though it is not visible to the naked eye." He placed the magnifying glass down on his desk. Taking the student application, he walked over to his filing cabinet and placed it in a thick file marked "Invading Elemental(s) Posing As Student(s)". Satisfied at his productivity, he sat back at his desk and looked in his planner to find out his next task. Ah yes, he thought, Mr. Wesker-san, the former biology teacher, wished to be re- hired. He reached to his phone and dialed the number beside the entry. "Hello, Mr. Wesker-san. I trust you are well?" "just fine, mr. hiretsukan." replied the rough, quiet voice in a whisper. "Good, good. Now I am a bit curious to why you wish to be rehired. It seems you left rather... abruptly after your... disagreement with Kaji-sensei. What assurances do I have that you won't leave again so soon?" "i have a countermeasure against kaji. company perk." "Really. Oh, by the by, how was your job at Parasol Corporation?" "itchy." * * * * West Eastwood High Part 9 "It's like Resident Evil on Prozac." by King in Yellow original concept by Eslington * * * * Ichiiro was scared shitless. One minute he had been enjoying the beautiful Monday morning sitting outside the school waiting for Makoto and Aiko, the next, he was being dragged away by two guys in suits and sunglasses to a hidden elevator in the school basement. Suffice to say that it was not his ideal way to start off a morning. That and the elevator was playing some music by an American named Chris Rock. He was in hell. "So...," he started conversationally to the man on his right, "what's going on? What did I do?" "We are not at liberty to discuss that matter with a student," replied the man on his left. Ichiiro turned to face him. "Why not?" "It's against school policy." replied the man on his right. "But..." started Ichiiro. "We request that you refrain from talking otherwise we will be forced to shoot you in the kneecap." stated the man on the left. Ichiiro paled and shut up. Ichiiro frowned. Something was just not right about this, he thought, we've been going down this elevator for fifteen minutes and we still haven't reached the bottom, and that goddamn music is getting to me. Why is there no sex in the champagne room? What is the champagne room? Sometimes, he wished that he didn't know any English. Much to his relief, the elevator stopped and opened. He was in some kind of bunker. A poorly lit one at that. Most of the bunker was obscured in shadow. At the back there was a figure sitting behind a desk. "Ah, good morning, Ichiiro. I suppose you wish to know why you are here?" asked the figure. "Umm... yes?" "I am assigning a new student into your care. She has been assigned an identical schedule as you. It is your duty to help her and give her a general tour of the school. She will be waiting for you outside the elevator when you go back up. Your fate and her fate are as one now. Your marks are her marks, her failures are your failures, I am I clear?" "Yes... Umm, can I ask-" asked Ichiiro. "Who I am? That, my dear boy, is something you'll have to learn in time." responded the figure mysteriously. It looked at its watch. "That's been about enough time. I am... the Principal." The Principal rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "While you're here, I might as well get you to do some work." He reached under his desk and pulled out a big box of letters and a big box of envelops. "I want you to stuff, lick, and stamp all the envelops." Ichiiro nodded. It didn't seem too hard. "Good. I'll get the Goons to bring the other hundred boxes down." * * * * Makoto (both of him/her) stood with Aiko outside the school entrance. Ichiiro was late. This was not normal. They were getting concerned. "I wonder where Ichiiro is?" asked Aiko. "Be damned if I know." replied Makoto-chan, scanning the crowd. Her eyes widened suddenly. Aiko frowned and tried to follow her friend's gaze. She appeared to be staring at a tall, gaunt, pale figure moving through the crowd of students. Her eyes widened too when she recognized the figure. "Is that... Wesker-sensei?!" asked a shocked Makoto-kun. "The biology teacher has returned?!" asked a equally shocked Aiko. Their eyes followed Wesker-sensei into the school. Aiko frowned. "You know, Makoto, this has bad day written all over it." * * * * Saotome-sensei looked at the attendance sheet and back at the vacant seat and frowned. "Miss Aiko, do you know where your friend Ichiiro is? My early morning footage shows him entering the school." "I don't have a clue, Saotome-sensei." replied Aiko. "No, you don't, do you?" deadpanned Saotome-sensei. Aiko blushed. "Where was I? Ah, yes. Mister Karou, did you do your homework last night." asked the teacher, turning to the student who had been tied down to what looked like an electric chair. "Yes, sensei." the nervous student said. Saotome-sensei gave a mock sigh of regret. "Why, Karou? Why must you turn my fair classroom into a house of lies?" asked the teacher rhetorically. He pressed a button on his desk. Karou convulsed as a unpleasant current of electricity passed through his body. "Let me ask again, did you do your homework?" * * * * "Principal, sir?" asked Ichiiro. "Can I take a break? My tongue has gone numb." Hiretsukan sighed. "You wont be able to please your girlfriend with that kind of endurance." he muttered, then said louder, "Goons, give Ichiiro a reason to ignore his need for a break." The left-hand goon stepped forwards towards Ichiiro. "If you wish to take a break, we'll have to break your leg." said the right-hand goon sadly. Ichiiro gulped and went back to stuffing and sealing the envelopes. Hiretsukan smiled. "Now that's the attitude I like to see." Ichiiro looked up. "Won't I be late to meet the student?" Hiretsukan smiled again. "I'm pretty sure she'll be late." * * * * "AAAAAAAHHHHH!" cried Kraken. "I am late!" She ran through the city streets. She was lost. Kraken was not used to cities at all. She bumped into a large trench-coated man. "STARS?" he asked. Kraken looked up. The man's face was hidden beneath a scarf. "Can you tell me how to get to West Eastwood High?" "STARS." The man pointed down two blocks. "Thank you kindly." said Kraken bowing. It was hard to infiltrate a society when you weren't on time. * * * * Ichiiro road the elevator alone back up to the surface. He was in shock. The principal had most likely screwed him over totally. And his tongue was swollen. And he was going to get chewed out for missing math, Literature and PE. Also this student, this... he looked at the file given to him, this Kraken, would probably be some ugly monster who would have the IQ of a pickle jar and pull his marks down to the single digit percents and... Ichiiro took a deep breath and tried to calm down. His right eye twitched. He would not yell. He would not swear. He would be calm, rational, and objective. He would be... totally dead by the end of the school year. The principal was a real bastard, thought Ichiiro. On the up side, the elevator wasn't playing Chris Rock. On the down side, it was playing Kefka's Theme from Final Fantasy VI over and over and over... The elevator came to a stop at the surface and Ichiiro gave a sigh of relief. Time to face the music, he thought. He stepped out of the elevator. "Excuse me, are you Ichiiro?" asked a pleasant female voice. Ichiiro turned at looked at the speaker. She was about sixteen, sea-green hair, deep-blue eyes that you could drown in, and very cute for someone named after a sea monster. "Ah... yes. Yes I am Ichiiro. You must be Kraken." "Yes I am," she smiled cutely. "I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. I hope we get to be good friends." Actually, thought Kraken, I would like to pull your appendages off one by one and eat them in front of you. At least Lich had the uncommon decency to give me a translation spell. That rat-bastard... "What is our first class?" Kraken mentally winced. It was hard to try and infiltrate a alien world when you talked like you were reading out of a dictionary. "That would be chemistry with Kaji-sensei." replied Ichiiro. He was nervous. There was something about this girl that seemed wrong. Well of course something had to be wrong with her, he thought, why else would she have come here? It was something more sinister... and possibly involving many tentacles, though not the hentai kind. "Chemistry?" Kraken wasn't to familiar with the word. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. "Study of chemicals and elements." "Oh, alchemy." Kraken gave a sign of relief. "I know alchemy like the back of my tentacles - er - hand. Yes, hand..." She started to laugh nervously and blushed slightly. "...Right." Ichiiro stated with an eyebrow raised. Yes, something was definitely wrong with her. Kraken continued to laugh awkwardly. Calm down, she thought, he doesn't suspect anything, remained calm. Remember what Lich said, remain calm at all times or your powers will lash out. Deep breath, calm down... crap, he's staring at me. She felt a sudden feeling like a slight electric shock against the back of her neck. Sounds of water pipes exploding were heard from deep inside the school. Oh, no, she thought. Ichiiro looked to the school. "...We should probably go to class now." Kraken nodded, still flushed. * * * * Hagira Kisaru looked at the soaked, angry mob of vengeful girls, led by Natsume. He gulped nervously. "I swear, I didn't touch the water pipes in your washroom..." * * * * Ichiiro led Kraken, trudging silently behind him, to the chemistry class. Could she have had something to do with the explosion he had heard earlier, he asked himself. She seemed to get nervous and then there was the explosion. Ichiiro wasn't a genius, but he could still put two and two together and get IV. It would be for the best if I try and keep her stress level down, he thought. He then winced, realizing that not a day passed at West Eastwood High that was not stressful. "I wonder who I killed in my past life to deserve this," muttered Ichiiro. "Pardon?" asked Kraken, slightly curiously. "Oh... heheheh... nothing. Just talking to myself. Reviewing... umm... chemistry! Yes, I was reviewing chemistry. By mumbling. Very common." "...." Kraken gave him a weird look. These people are very dangerous, she thought. Talking to oneself... feh, obviously stark raving mad. Wait. Aren't I talking to myself? Crap. Lousy luck being sent to this goddamn dimension. Why couldn't they just send some of my robots. Uh oh. He's staring at me. Did I start speaking out loud? Crap, this could blow my cover. I'd be tako-sushi if my cover was blown here. I'm a dead fiend. Indeed Ichiiro had stopped, turned and started to stare in her direction. He started to walk towards her. Crap, crap, crap, crap... Kraken though closing her eyes. A scream of pain could be heard in the distance as boiling water exploded from a coffee machine in the teachers lounge. Ichiiro walked right up to Kraken... and continued right past her, stopping at what looked like a giant bruise lying on the floor. Ichiiro frowned. "Are you all right Hagira?" "Just peachy..." muttered the bruise. "I didn't even DO anything." "Let me help you get to the infirmary." Ichiiro offered. "It's quite fine. I can get there myself." Hagira stood up. The minute he did there was a sickening pop, snap, and tearing noise from his leg. His eyes started to water. Kraken walked up to him and turned to Ichiiro. "Does his leg bone normally stick through his skin like that?" she asked innocently. Ichiiro shook his head no, still in shock. "I'm just fine... my other leg is just fine." Hagira muttered through clenched teeth. "My arms are fine, that's good." He said optimistically flexing them. There was another popping noise. "Ichiiro, is his arm supposed to bend in the wrong direction like that?" asked Kraken in a puzzled tone of voice. "I'm pretty sure that human anatomy doesn't allow for the elbow to bend at that angle." "...I'm pretty sure it's not." said a stunned Ichiiro. Hagira merely nodded in agreement. "I'm still okay," he said, still nodding, "I'm not feeling any pain." A loud cracking noise was heard from his neck. His eye twitched slightly. "could you please get me to the infirmary, ichiiro?" he whispered quietly. * * * * Kraken sat outside the infirmary, where the nurse was setting Hagira's body back into the right alignments. She was kind of scared. This was very unnerving for her. [Kraken, are you there?] What? thought Kraken. She had just heard a voice, but there was no-one around. [This is Kary. We are communicating through a one way telepathic signal. Lich has something very important to tell you.] [Hello, Kraken.] stated the raspy voice of Lich. [You are probably experiencing trouble with your powers. It appears that the spell I cast to make you look human has turned you into a human, possibly due to magic radiation from the portal. As a result, you will lose control of your powers. They are affected by extremes of emotion, lashing out in an uncontrolled, explosive fashion. You are also mortal now and can be killed very easily. Watch your back. Lich out] Kraken blinked, digesting the information. She calmly stood up and walked into a janitor's closet. Her next words were drowned out by the sounds of water mains exploding all over the school. * * * * A drenched Natsume looked up very slowly, blinked, and looked at the uniform she had just changed into. Pursing her lips, she turned to face the other soaked girls in the changing room. "Hagira is a dead man." Natsume stated matter-of-factly. The other drenched girls nodded slowly in agreement and went off to find large blunt objects. * * * * "ACHOO-ARRRRRRRRRRGH" "Mr. Hagira, sneezing while I'm setting your bones is not an advisable idea." * * * * Ichiiro stepped out of the infirmary. Watching Hagira being put back together was not a pleasant experience, though, it was a good lesson in biology and human anatomy. Though the nurse singing "The leg bone [snap] is reconnected to the [snap] thigh bone," struck him as a bit sadistic. No doubt Hagira had had it coming. Ichiiro leaned back against the wall. Now, something was missing. He couldn't quite place it. He looked down the hall and his eyes widened. No matter, it looks like Hagira could be in much more trouble. Storming down the hall was a lynch mob of angry, wet girls, lead by Natsume. She paused and stopped by Ichiiro. "Ichiiro, have you seen Hagira?" Natsume's voice was devoid of any emotion. Ichiiro felt himself feeling nothing but pity for Hagira. "Umm, I thought I saw him heading towards chemistry." Ichiiro didn't like lying, but he was sure that it was for the greater good. At least for Hagira's good. "Thank you," Natsume said. The mob turned around and headed down to the chemistry lab. Breathing a sigh of relief, Ichiiro leaned back against the wall. Now his train of thought started up again after a brief derailment. His eyes widened as he remembered what was missing. "AHH! Where's Kraken?" * * * * * Kraken put a hand to her nose. She would not sneeze, no matter what. In the dim light of the closet, she could make out a number of objects. Any sudden disturbance could possibly set off an explosion. She ever so gingerly picked up a object. It appeared to be some kind of inflatable item, possibly a raft. Kraken frowned, why would a janitor keep an inflatable raft in a janitorial closet. Then she realized that she was holding the object in both hands, meaning.... * * * * Ichiiro frowned. He thought he had just heard a sneeze from the janitor's closet. He started to walk towards the closet... * * * * Kraken struggled in the darkness. When she sneezed, the object had inflated and smashed the light. It wasn't a raft, and that's for damn sure, thought Kraken while she wrestled to get it off her. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized that someone was walking towards the closet. She started to get flushed and broke out in a cold sweat. * * * * Ichiiro opened the closet door. He was not prepared for the sight that greeted him. He had found Kraken all right... in a janitor's closet... flushed and sweating... under an inflatable tentacle monster. Kraken looked up at him and gave a weak, nervous grin. "Umm. Hello, Ichiiro..." Kraken trailed off. She felt a familiar twitch at the back of her neck. A few screams were heard near the chemistry lab. Ichiiro blinked, long and slow. "....Right." He closed the door, turned around and walked back to the infirmary. * * * * Natsume stood twitching beside the exploded water fountain. Pursing her lips and nodding she made a simple statement to the universe: "This is getting old." * * * * Makoto-kun was getting a bit worried. Chemistry class was starting and Ichiiro still hadn't shown up yet. This wasn't at all like Ichiiro, he thought. Makoto leaned over to Kyoto. "Hey, Kyoto, have you seen Ichiiro today?" he whispered to Kyoto. Kyoto frowned slightly. "No, I haven't. What's this I hear about Wesker-sensei returning?" Makoto shuddered. "I don't know much, but he looks even creepier than before." Kaji-sensei coughed. "Ah, Makoto, Kyoto. What is so interesting that you feel that it must cut into my chemistry class?" Both students went red with embarrassment. "Er, well, um..." Makoto started promisingly. Kaji wore a very neutral expression on her face. "Take your time boy, we have all day." Luckily for Makoto, he didn't. The door of the class burst open, a horde of wet girls storming in, lead by an angry looking Natsume. "Where is Hagira? We demand to see him at once." Natsume bellowed, the mob muttering its agreement. * * * * "ACHOO [snap] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" "Sigh. Now I'll have to set that elbow all over again." * * * * Kaji-sensei was livid. "What right do you think you have that allows you to barge into my chemistry class?" she howled. "what right do you have to teach this class." rasped a voice from the back of the class. Kaji's face turned a dark red. "Whomever said that has five seconds to come forward before I curse the entire class." "just like you cursed me?" The speaker slid out a vent shaft, popping joints back into place as he stood up. "miss me kaji-sensei?" Wesker twisted the "sensei" mockingly in his raspy voice. "before you try and drive me off again, i'd like you to meet my special friend. his name is nemi-kun." The wall of the class crumbled down as a massive form stepped through. It stood at eight feet and wore a black, sleeveless trench-coat that concealed most of its form. Its arms were massively corded with muscle. In its arm it carried a rocket launcher. Its face was the most horrid thing of all though; it was a twisted parody of a human face, teeth like daggers, and skin covered in tumors. Its single good eye blazed with fury and hatred. "STARS." bellowed Nemi-kun as it levelled its rocket launcher at Kaji, and fired. The rocket blasted Kaji clear out of the school. Wesker smiled. "don't worry, that round was a concussion round, non-fatal. i've had a lot of time to think about the true cause of the accident. i used to blame just kaji, but then i came to the realization that it's not really her fault. it's the fault of the students. you caused her to curse me with bad luck, that bad luck causing me to be infected with parasol corporation's most deadly mutation virus - the H-Virus." He smiled cruelly as he looked over the students' terrified expressions. "soon i'll be nothing but a mindless tentacle monster, but not before i get my revenge." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a controller and pressed a button. Steel panels began to close over the windows. "i'm not an unfair freak. you have two minutes before the school is sealed and all the parasol monsters i brought with me are realized. you had best started running." The class poured out, giving warning to the other classes as the went to the closing exits. Wesker smiled. Revenge was sweet indeed. * * * * The Principal frowned as he sat in his underground bunker. "My, my, my. That's not very nice at all." * * * * The nurse ushered Ichiiro and Kraken into the infirmary. "You'll be safe here. I'll come back once I find out what's going on." With that, she left. "Umm, Ichiiro?" "Yes, Kraken?" "Does this happen often?" "No." Kraken gave a sigh of relief at Ichiiro's response. Hagira groaned as he came to. His eyes widened with horror as he realized what was going on. "Ichiiro, we have to get the fuck out of here. Right. NOW." Ichiiro paled. "Why? The nurse said for us to stay here." Hagira groaned as he tried to get up. "They're sealing the school. They'd only do that if something really bad was inside." <> bleeped the intercom. Hagira blinked, and than swore a line of curses that would have made Cid Highwind pale. * * * * * Wesker nodded at Nemi-kun. He pressed a button on the controller. "time to release the monsters and start hunting students." * * * * * Outside the school was pandemonium. The students were panicking, as was some of the staff. Makoto(s) stood with Aiko. "I hope Ichiiro wasn't in there." said Aiko. [Want me to find out?] asked Uta, walking up behind them. Aiko and Makoto blinked. "But.." started Aiko. [...isn't my telepathy one way? I've been experimenting. I can identify people by their thought pattern. That's about it.] "Then how did you..." asked Makoto before being cut off. [..."read" your minds? What you three are thinking right now could be read by a five year old.] Aiko and Makoto blushed slightly. [Now, shall I begin. Ichiiro... is in the school... with... Hagira... and someone I don't know in the... infirmary.] "This is not good." stated Aiko looking back at the school. * * * * Ichiiro's butt had gone numb. He had been sitting, waiting for over an hour. It was maddening to be stuck here with Kraken-the-weird-girl-whose-fate-is-my-fate and Hagira-the-mummy-man. Well, they really weren't all that bad, he though, but it was bad enough. The mummy-man kept rocking back and forth and the weird-girl kept pacing back and forth. It was really getting on his nerves. Ichiiro jack-knifed up. "I'm going to take a look in the hall." he stated simply. Kraken just shrugged at him and went back to pacing. Hagira looked up at him and gave him a twisted smile. "If you go out there, you're a dead man." he said while pausing in his rocking. "And if I stay here, I'll end up a madman." muttered Ichiiro. He opened the door and walked into the hall. He blinked in shock as he saw the nurse hunched over on the floor. He walked up to her and placed his hand on her back. "Excuse me? Miss are you all-AAAAAAAAAGH!" Ichiiro never finished his sentence as the nurse turned around and sunk her teeth into his arm, drawing blood. Ichiiro pulled back, nursing his wound. "What are you?" he asked. A moan from the nurse was all he got. She started to shamble towards him. It dawned upon Ichiiro that the nurse was probably a zombie, as she didn't display such cannibalistic tendencies before. He back up and tripped on his own feet. The zombie bore down on him. He smirked to himself. So this is how I go out, he mused, eaten by a zombie. "Ichiiro! Roll right and cover your eyes!" cried Hagira. Ichiiro did quickly. Hagira raised his arm, aiming a gun-like device, while being supported by Kraken. Smirking, he pulled the trigger. There was a click (and a miscellaneous snap from somewhere in Hagira's arm). Then the hall erupted in blinding light as a flare shot out and hit the zombie, exploding. Kraken rushed to Ichiiro's side. "Are you all right, Ichiiro?" she asked, sounding slightly worried. Damn it you idiot, she thought, if you die, I'm as good as dead. Mortality sucks ass. "Feel... hot..." Ichiiro mumbled. Hagira frowned and bent down beside Ichiiro. He placed two of his unbandaged fingers on Ichiiro's throat to check his pulse. Hagira's eyes widened. "Kraken, drag him back to the infirmary." stated Hagira calmly. "Don't make too much noise either, that's how they find their prey." he added, reloading his flare gun. Kraken blinked as she pulled Ichiiro to the infirmary. "The zombies?" Hagira smirked once more. "Nope." he replied, never taking his eyes off the end of the hallway. "Worse." "How do you know so much about these things?" asked Kraken as she dragged Ichiiro. "I'd be a poor mad scientist if I didn't know about the `side-projects' of the Parasol Corporation. If I were you, I'd start dragging him faster." Hagira raised the flare gun and started to back off slowly, covering Kraken. Hagira was a madcap inventor without an ounce of wisdom when it came to inventing, but he did have a survival instinct, at least when it came to things like this. Ever since his `super-boat' exploded and left him at a Costa Rican island which had large reptiles which had even larger teeth... Hagira shuddered at the memory. They hurried back into the infirmary just as Nemi-kun started up the stairs. * * * * Teashi-sensei wandered through the crowds of students. He was teaching PE outside when whatever happened went down and he still couldn't get a straight answer out of anyone. He decided to try his luck with Aiko, Makoto(s), and Uta. He noticed as he approached that they appeared (with the exception of Uta) to be very troubled. "Anything the matter?" he tried as he approached the students. "Teashi-sensei!?" said Aiko and Makoto(s) looking at him suddenly. [`lo teach] Teashi frowned. "Where's Ichiiro?" he asked. [Still in the school with Wesker-sensei and his pet] thought Uta, pre-empting Aiko and Makoto. Teashi's eye's widened. If the ex-teacher Wesker was involved... He never liked the man, even when he worked at the school. "All right, please tell me everything that's going on." he asked. Aiko started, "Well..." * * * * Nemi-kun plodded down the hall. Prey was here. It could smell its fear. That or the prey didn't know how to bathe. It readied its rocket launcher. * * * * Deep in his bunker, the Principal watched Nemi-kun on one monitor, and the students on another with a feral grin on his face. This will prove to be most entertaining, thought the Principal. * * * * Teashi-sensei stood in front of the gathered teachers. "And that is the current situation. I recommend that myself and Bösekrieger-sensei infiltrate the school through the sewers and rescue the students." "Ah'll come along with yah, if yah don't mind." said Kent-sensei. "Ah may not be able to fight with those there swords and axes, but give me three minutes and ah'll get the girls from mah car trunk." Teashi and Bösekrieger nodded to Kent-sensei, who left to get "the girls". Teashi smiled. Wesker-sensei didn't stand a chance. * * * * Hagira administered the antibiotics to Ichiiro, who had become pale, sweaty and feverish. "What's... wrong... with... me?" Ichiiro asked. "Looks like you got a zombie bug. These antibiotics should help keep it at bay." Hagira sighed. He didn't know much about Parasol's zombie bug, but what he did know was it wasn't a bacteria. This meant that the antibiotics were useless. Kraken looked at Hagira. "He's not going to make it is he?" Hagira shook his head. "Not unless we can find a cure soon. Just out of curiosity, do you have any healing powers?" Kraken shook her head. "If I did, I would have healed him by now. I would really like to heLL-OWWWW!" Kraken howled as she stubbed her toe. Hagira blinked as the pain in his wrist disappeared. He looked at Kraken. He looked at her toe. He looked at his wrist. He walked up to Kraken. "Do you mind if I try something?" he asked. "No, what?" "This." He punched her in the nose. "OWWW! You sonnova bitch!" Kraken was livid. She could feel that her nose had been broken. Blood streamed out of her nostrils. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hit that hard. Look at Ichiiro." She looked at Ichiiro. Sure enough, he looked much better. She turned back to Hagira who handed her a cloth for her nose. "Looks like if you get hurt, someone else gets healed." he told her. Her face went red. "If it makes you feel any better, it's for a good cause." Lich, you are a dead fiend, er, deader fiend, she thought. * * * * Oh my, thought the Principal sarcastically, it appears the hero of the day is infected with Parasol's mutation virus. Whatever will they do? The Principal started to chuckle dryly. This is going even better than he planned. He turned back to the monitors recording the action on camera. "Goons!" he called. "I have a task for you two." * * * * The three teachers entered the sewers beneath the school. Teashi and Bösekrieger were still in shock at Kent's "girls". They were not so much handguns as hand-cannons. They were the kind of revolver that would send a war party of Zulus running for cover. They were revolvers that didn't take down deer, they took down rhinos. Odds are, guns of a lower caliber were used as anti-aircraft guns. "Ah say, are we there yet, Teashi-sir?" "Fifty more meters, Kent-san." "Are there crocodiles in these here parts?" asked Kent. "No, why?" "Oh, it must be an alligator then." said Kent, eyeing the approaching albino monster. * * * * Kraken pinched her nose. It still hadn't stopped bleeding. It was starting to get on her nerves. Shit, she thought, I'm losing so much blood through my nose that I'm hearing a dull thumping. She looked at Hagira who was frowning, as if in deep thought. They both looked at a glass of water sitting on the table. Thump. Ripple. Thump. Ripple. Thump. Ripple. Thump. Ripple. "Umm, Hagira. I think we should be leaving now..." Kraken said nervously. Hagira's eye twitched. "Yeah, I think you're right. Leaving would be an advisable course of action..." he said slowly. They both burst into speed and grabbed a semi-comatose Ichiiro off the table and started to make a break for the door. The wall smashed down as the massive form of Nemi-kun burst through the wall, raising its rocket launcher. "STARS." roared the monster, pointing the massive weapon at the trio. "This does not bode well, Kraken." calmly stated Hagira, while nearly soiling himself in terror. Kraken didn't say anything. She just went white as a sheet. I don't want to die, she thought, I'm to... to... whatever, to die. There came a rumbling under Nemi-kun's feet. "STARS?" it asked no-one. The following pillar of water knocked the creature clear through the ceiling. Seizing initiative, Hagira nudged a shocked Kraken into picking up Ichiiro and helping him carry him. The trio hurried out of the infirmary. * * * * Hysterical laughter echoed throughout the bunker. * * * * "Kent-san?" asked Teashi. "Yes, Teashi-sir?" "Please tell us next time you see a giant albino alligator." "No problem." "Thank you." Teashi felt something on his prosthetic leg. Looking down, he saw something was chewing on it. He stabbed it with his blade and tossed it aside. "Kent-san, why didn't you tell me about that?" "Because, that there was a regular-sized, normal coloration, caiman." Teashi just sighed. * * * * "Hagira?" asked Kraken. "Yes?" "Where are we going?" Hagira rubbed his chin. "To the mechanic's class." "Why there?" "Because, that's we're I left my prototype beach-ball." Kraken blinked. "What good will a beach-ball do us?" Hagira smiled brittlely. "Because, it has a self destruct function." "Oh." Ichiiro started to groan. "El...evat...or... Base... me..nt." Hagira blinked. An elevator in the basement? He looked at Kraken. "That's right! Ichiiro met me by an elevator in the basement." Kraken exclaimed. "Can you get us there?" asked Hagira. "Um, no. No, I don't think so." "...." * * * * In the ventilation shaft above the infirmary, a massive finger twitched. * * * * The floor exploded in the chemistry lab. The three teachers climbed out of the hole that Kent's gunshot made. "Kent?" asked Bösekrieger. "Are guns of that caliber legal in Japan?" "Ah don't know. That might explain why the police are constantly chasing me." "Bösekrieger, Kent, we must focus on defeating Wesker-san." said Teashi. A dry chuckle echoed through the lab. "thAt, my dEAr fOrmEr cOllEAgUEs, Is A tAsk thAt mAy bE bEyOnd yOU." stated the dry, warbling voice. Out from a corner stepped Wesker-sensei, in all his H-Virus tentacled glory. "I wIll hUmIlIAtE yOU bEfOre I kIll yOU." "Ah don't think so." Kent said, raising his gun and pulling the trigger. Wesker looked down at the hole in his chest. He dropped, falling to the floor in a pool of ichor. Oh well, he though as the world faded to black, as my old biology teacher used to say: "A gaping chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to lie down." * * * * Hagira looked around the basement. He was getting nervous. He had used all but one of his flares getting here, as the first floor was crawling with zombies. With only one shot left, he would have to make it count. Ichiiro wasn't looking good either. "You think that we should `treat' him again?" asked Kraken in a disgusted voice. Hagira cracked his knuckles. "Seems that way." He punched Kraken in the nose, again. Ichiiro started to look better, less pale and sweaty. Unfortunately, thought Hagira, this won't last forever. We need an antidote. Hagira's train of thought was derailed by Kraken's scream and the shower of hot water that scaled him when a pipe exploded. Walking out of the shadows was something that looked like a shaved gorilla crossed with Godzilla. It gave a shrill shriek of joy as it spotted new prey and started scuttling towards the trio. Hagira gritted his teeth, raised the flare gun and fired a shot at the creature... and missed totally. The creature charged at him, fangs and talons glistening in the dim light of the basement. Hagira closed his eyes in preparation for his imminent demise. The sounds of automatic weapon fire roared through the basement, deafening Hagira and Kraken. Stepping out of the shadows were two men in dark blue suits holding high caliber assault rifles. The one on the left stepped forwards and tossed a small package to Hagira. "Here. It is the serum that will cure your friend." stated the goon on the right. "Who are you?" asked Hagira. The one on the right looked at Hagira. "We are... the Vice-Principals." stated the one on the left. They both nodded at each other and departed back into the shadows. Hagira blinked and unwrapped the package. Inside was a needle filled with a clear yellow liquid. Without hesitation, he plunged the needle into Ichiiro's chest and injected the liquid. Ichiiro immediately started to look a more healthy color. Kraken looked at Hagira with a puzzled expression on her face. "Hagira, how did you know where to inject the needle?" Hagira shrugged. "I didn't." Kraken's eyes widened. "I saw a guy do it in some American movie I watched on my television." Kraken just gave a sigh of disgust. Her face suddenly changed into a more thoughtful expression. "Hagira," she purred, "Ichiiro doesn't need my `healing' now does he?" Hagira rubbed his chin. "I don't suppose he does." Kraken grinned in a feral fashion. "Then I can pay you back..." She cracked her knuckles and advanced on a pondering Hagira. "I suppose you could- wait, no no No NO AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" * * * * Teashi's head cocked as he heard the scream of agony from the basement. He turned to his companions. "To the basement!" The teachers broke into a run. * * * * Something was squeezing through the ventilation shafts... * * * * * "Hagira! Ichiiro! Student-whom-I-know-not-your-name!" cried Teashi as he stepped down the stairs. He motioned for Kent and Bösekrieger to remain at the top of the stairs. "We're down here, sir." came the returning call from Kraken. Teachi rushed down the stairs at looked at the bandaged and newly bleeding Hagira, the comatose Ichiiro, and the grinning Kraken. "Are you students all right?" he asked, concerned. "We're fine. said Hagira. "Though Ichiiro is slightly comatose, but he should be fine." Hagira blinked and then fell to the floor. Teashi and Kraken immediately ran to his side. "Hagira, what is the matter with you?" asked Teashi. "Adrenaline wore off. My spine has turned to jelly again." Hagira smiled weakly and turned to Kraken. "Was I just handling this day like a professional monster hunter?" Kraken nodded. "I see." Hagira promptly passed out. Teashi called down the other teachers, Bösekrieger picking up Ichiiro and Kent taking Hagira. Teashi turned to Bösekrieger. "I guess this wraps everything up in a nice neat package, doesn't it?" "I agree, Teashi." said Bösekrieger. Kraken looked at the teachers. "Did any of you encounter a big monster with a rocket launcher and that only said `STARS' by any chance?" The teachers looked at each other and shook their heads. "Oh." Kraken said. "Then I suggest we start running." * * * * The creature could sense its prey right beneath it. Now was the time to strike. * * * * Watching from his bunker, Hiretsukan smiled his feral grin and pressed a button on his desk. "Not today, my dear monstrous Nemi-kun..." * * * * Nemi-kun immediately felt the sides of the vent shaft start to get tighter and tighter as they closed in. Its last words were "STARS?", roughly translating to: "It's gonna get worse before it gets better, isn't it?" * * * * Hiretsukan watched the teachers and students leave the school. He smiled. It had been a good day. He had been very productive. Wesker, the potential loose canon was gone, he got to test out the school's security and trap system, and he could now use the footage from the security cameras to extort billions of yen from Parasol Corporation to fund school projects. That and a trip to Disney World. Hiretsukan cut loose with a "Dr. Evil-esque" laugh to end a beautiful day. It was a good start to what was shaping up to a beautiful week. * * * * Author's Notes/Rant: Well, that was fun. Time consuming, but fun. Right off, I'd like to thank Ranma X for pre-reading this monstrosity. I'd also like to thank everyone at Indie Madness, be they writer, maintainer, or artist, for writing such great stuff and giving me a place to hang around in after my impro-lynching. Now, for the ranting. I feel I should apologize first for the heavy handed "deus ex machina" feel of my piece. I had a lot of crap going on in RL (such as a friend being dumped, etc) so I was hurried and didn't have much time to write. C'est la vie. The story of this piece's creation lies in the author drinking lot's of grenadine (it's like the distilled juice of Skittles concentrated a hundred fold) straight and playing some Resident Evil games. I hope I did a good job with this piece of writing. Oh well, if you readers don't like it, you can always lynch me ^_^. Comments and criticisms are welcome and wanted, e-mail me at wren_bael@hotmail.com King in Yellow "To make your problems go away, try repeating the word 'Hastur' over and over again."